The Last Time I'll Write About You || Yeonbin

Entry #17

This is actually the second time I'm writing this one because the first time I did, I wasn't able to finish it.

It was about how my condition went and before I even got the chance to say what my plan was about visiting the hospital, I passed out, apparently.

No need to worry though! If you're worried, that is.

Anyway, so the last time I tried writing to you, I passed out. And because of that, I got immediately sent to the hospital the moment Jaemin saw me lying on my bedroom floor. Thankfully he decided to drop by because of the folders he needed that were mixed with mine or else I'd be undergoing something worse. Who knows?

But, like I told you. You don't have to worry since the doctor said there wasn't anything serious and the constant headaches I've been getting was just because of stress.

He did told me to try and find things to distract myself though. I don't know what he meant with that exactly but I have a feeling that Jaemin might have slipped off about my situation.

That, I'm still finding it hard to cope living alone and without you and it's kinda interfering with everything.

Oh who am I kidding? Of course it's interfering and affecting everything.

I just— I don't know. I'm trying Soobin, I really am. But I just— I can't. Not yet.

And it didn't help the fact that I think I saw you during my stay at the hospital.

Was I just hallucinating? Am I really getting too freaking delusional and desperate that I'm convincing myself you'll show up somehow? I don't want to keep being like this too, Binnie. But I'm still hoping you would change your mind and come back.

There it goes again, my longing.

This isn't really helping my case at all if I plan on forgetting about you, right?

But just— help me? Please?

Soobin, help me let you go.