The Last Time I'll Write About You || Yeonbin

Entry #10

You, Choi Soobin, are the accurate definition of a total asshole.

I fucking hate you.

How could you do this to me? Was I not enough for you? Did I do something wrong? Am I too annoying? Why did you get tired of me? What did I do? Why did you leave me when I gave you everything that I had? All I did was fucking love you and care for you and you broke me in return? How fucking rude and twisted can you get you ungrateful son-of-a-wonderful-mother (I could never insult your mom and dad they're awesome) heartless twat? I need answers.

After all we've been through you had the guts to walk out of my life like that without a fucking explanation why? You never even told me the reason. How am I supposed to understand? How would I know your side? This is so unfair.

You are so unfair, Soobin.

I hate you for making me feel things and for leaving me like I was a piece of dirt. I hate you for giving me so much to remember. For being the only one who gets me. For being the "almost perfect" boyfriend because the perfect one wouldn't leave me the way you did.

But I don't want perfect.

I want you and I hate you for making me want you. I just don't understand why'd you end this—we never had a fight that would last for even a day and now you think you could last the rest of your life without me?  Fuck you if you could because I fucking couldn't. You made me so used to have you by my side. You made me so drunk in love, you didn't teach me how to live without it.

Without you.

I hate you but I still want you back.

Ah! I hate myself for this but I still love you so fucking much.