You Are Not Alone [Charles Leclerc]

🌠Thirty-sixth chapter🌠

"There's a girl, but I let her get away
It's all my fault 'cause pride got in the way
And I'd be lying if I said I was okay
About that girl, the one I let get away."
That Girl; Olly Murs

-

The next few days were pure hell. I couldn't stay in Liege any longer. I was scared that I would meet Emily or Jasmine or Sergio. I felt so guilty about last night and I wouldn't have guts to confess my fault. And I would make things even messier.
I decided to return back to Monaco in the morning. I briefly informed Riri about my leaving, however, she didn't answer.

When I arrived, I was welcomed by an empty house. I like my own peace but suddenly the silence felt so strange and unnaturally. Till now I haven't realised how used to I was to the sound of the piano, loud TV playing pointless Italian soap operas Ariana was watching when she wanted to rest her brain and her undying chirping about everything. And now there is only silence. Painful silence. And it all happened just because of me. I let her go because I was too proud to accept her just the way she is. Because I was too proud to accept she is not what I thought she is.
She lied to me about who she was. She lied to me about her past. Because she was afraid of my reaction. And I let her down. I promised her that we would work it out and I didn't keep my promise. I threw her away like she means nothing just because she isn't perfect. She trusted me and I hurt her feelings. I guess I'm a liar too.

I decided to take a walk around Monaco to clear my mind. I put on sunglasses and cap because although I'm only in F2, I'm easily recognised by the people.
I was strolling through the streets of Monaco, hoping that the sun and the fresh air will make me feel better. At least slightly. Oh, how wrong I was. Flashbacks of my trip with Ariana were mingling in my head although I was trying to put them aside. How we were bumping into stressed and rude businessmen at Odeon Tower. How she was glowing while eating Barbajuan in Casterloe restaurant. How gorgeous she looked in a bikini. Her angelic voice. Our first kiss we shared at the pool when the moon was full and the sky was star-spangled.

I returned back to my apartment because it wouldn't make sense to continue in this walk. I sat on the couch, just staring at the wall. I've never felt so bad in my life. I've never felt so empty. I was that hopeless that I even tried to contact Ariana but she was successfully ignoring me. I really need someone to talk about it. I can't hold my emotions inside or I would explode.
My first thought was Carola. She is my best friend and she always knows how to help me. But I heard from Sergio there is some bad blood between her and Ariana. I'm afraid she wouldn't be fair-minded and would see the fault only on Ariana's side. And she is too busy anyway.

So I decided to FaceTime Alexandrina. She knows me for years and every time I or she had love troubles, we always came to the other one for advice. She is always objective and she reads in people like they are open books. And I know I can count on her every time I need it. She also knows Ariana's side of the story so maybe she can tell me how Ariana really feels about me.

"Oh well, well, well, if this isn't Mr. Charles Leclerc," she greeted me not really warmly. I guess she is pissed and I don't blame her. I really acted like a total asshole yesterday.

"I fucked up," I sighed and ran my hand through my hair in frustration, "badly."

"That's no surprise for me," she noted while she was opening a package of orange Jaffa cakes, "with whom did you sleep this time? Was she pretty?" I told you, she knows me. Maybe even more than Carola. It's scary.