Her Calling

T W E N T Y

T W E N T Y
rhys lewis, no right to love you (acoustic).

Micah.

I haven't had a decent nights rest in weeks, I haven't been able to shut my eyes in eleven days. I haven't been able to shut my eyes since I left Lerato's house. I haven't been the same and haven't been able to even pretend that everything is alright.

At this point Maddy isn't even sleeping in bed with me, she can't deal with my constant tossing and turning. She can tell something is wrong but I can't bring myself to tell her — I think I made a mistake.

Madeline has been in my life for as long as I can remember, I don't remember a moment I couldn't turn and speak to her about anything. I don't remember a time when she couldn't do the same.

So once I had exhausted all my efforts of finding my mate through the Balls, it was a no brainer to choose Madeline as my chosen mate. Who knew me and the kingdom better as well as the ways of my family? Nobody.

She was the perfect choice.

That was until that night, the night I smelt her, the night I laid eyes on her. I had seen her far before she had seen me, once I did I tried so hard to stay out of reach. To stay away from her, when she had found me I was thinking what the hell I was going to do.

She is drop dead gorgeous and alive, she was real and right within my reach. I know every Alpha wolf and their families so I just had to go through the database and look for her family before finding her name.

I read all we had on her and couldn't find a reason as to why she wouldn't be the greatest Queen that ever lived. She wasn't supposed to find me, she wasn't supposed to meet me but once she come up to me I had to do something to get away.

I never even planned on seeing her the next day or for the weeks that followed but I couldn't. I just could not let her go, I needed to be near her, I needed to feel her love even if it wouldn't be forever. At least I could feel it before I knew it would be impossible to feel it ever again.

I don't know why I let the paper go out that day, I don't know why I never warned her. Came clean before the announcement was made. I was stupid, it was so stupid of me to do that.

Madeline only learned of Lerato's existence the day I left to the airport, don't know what I expected to happen that day. I've been so clumsy and cretinous since I discarded her that first night. I just haven't been myself.

Madeline didn't take the news of Lerato well, she didn't want to be the reason mates weren't together. She didn't want to deprive someone of their ultimate love, knowing how it feels to have it ripped away from you she wasn't a fan of the fact that I gave Lerato a taste of that kind of love.

I had never seen Maddy so upset before in my life, she was furious. The tears streaming down her face as she remembered what she shared with her mate. Once she reminded me of that I too thought twice about those first few weeks I spent with Lerato and how it would've been better had I just rejected her from the first day.

Letting her in and pushing my way into her heart the way I did and for the short amount of time that I did wasn't fair at all.

"Theo," I heard Maddy's voice come from behind me as she entered the room. My gaze not shifting from the garden view before me.

She took the space beside me on the couch, "Hey, Maddy." I respond.

"Why did you go through with this? You're miserable, everyone can see it. Although they don't know why, I do. I know you want her, I know you long for her, I know I'm not what you truly want... anymore."

I couldn't hide my reaction, I was so shocked and taken aback by all of this. I knew I hadn't been myself for nearly two weeks but I hadn't thought it would affect her or be that noticeable. I tried to hide in my office and pretend the work load was more than I could handle.

However, this was Madeline — she knew me better than I knew myself at certain moments and this was one of those moments.

It was thoughts and times like these that had convinced me before that she was my equal, that there was no one more suitable to be my Queen.

But clearly I was wrong.

"Maddy, I —" I what? What do I say to the girl who knows me like the back of her hand. What do I say to the girl I dragged into this mess, the girl I essentially lead on.

I thought this was how I wanted everything to go, this is what I thought I wanted but there's something about Lerato being back here and being so within reach that has pushed me over the edge.

Add on to that Raheem Jamil being her new, what, saviour into the mix and I just cannot handle it. Raheem? Out of all the wolves in this world, out of all the wolves she could've met in Dubai it had to be the Jamil's?

I couldn't stop replaying that day in my head, as if her anger and her tears and her tone weren't bad enough. Raheem had to come in and play the part of her 'boyfriend,' her little life guard.

"You what?" Maddy snaps, consequently snapping me back into reality.

"I thought it was the right thing to do," I decided the truth was the only route to take, "I thought I could cast her aside, I thought... dammit, you weren't even supposed to know about her Mad." I tug at my dark coils.

"None of this was supposed to go down like this, I wanted you to be my happily ever after. I wanted you to be my mate, I've wanted that since I found out about mates. I selfishly wanted it even more once Siya died and I selfishly still wanted it even when Lerato walked in. I dodged her all night at the Ball but she found me and now she's found a way into my heart."

Her eyes lower and mine sink with them, I look away, feeling ashamed at the thought of this all.

"I thought I wanted you."

She sucks in a shaky breath, "Please stop talking, just shut the fuck up."

She's trying so hard to be strong, she's trying so hard to keep herself together and I realise then that I've lost her. I've lost the one person who has been the most constant in my life, the one person who has been through it all with me. I've lost who I had once believed was the love of my life.

I've lost my best friend.

She stands to her feet and speaks in a clipped tone, "The monarch would be outrage and the community dismantled if they found out about her. I will remain your Bounded only for the sake of peace." She smooths out her pencil skirt before turning sharply and exiting the room.

Just before she shuts the door, I hear the infamous crack before the tears roll down. My heart snaps just as I hear it. Dammit.

I've broken my best friend's heart.

—
What do we think about Micah now?

connect with me on twitter :) — mbaliitheauthor