Cruel Tenderness

[1] Interview

As I looked up at the tall building placed in front of me. The Houston heat attacks me. The sun kisses my skin but blinds my vision. I can't believe I was selected to interview as his assistant. I knew my resume was qualified but I'm not sure about my look. Being a Stanford graduate was enough for any corporation to look at me with a smile. But, when I walked in with my size sixteen frame. It had some of them running for the hills. Companies that turned me down due to my image always gave me the same sad speech," I'm sorry, Ms. Wright, you just don't fit what we're looking for." But, hopefully, Mr. Thomas can look deeper than that.

I reached for the handle to the front entrance. My breathing became rapid; I had to calm myself down and fast before I had a panic attack. I've been having panic attacks since I was young. My therapist said it was due to the abuse I endured over the years. But, I didn't need those thoughts throwing me off. I can't afford to bomb this interview.

I ran to the nearest restroom to splash some water on my face and try to control my breathing. But, all I kept hearing over and over in my head was my father and mother screaming. "You ain't never going to be shit. Ain't nobody ever gonna love or want yo ass !" Maybe they were right. Why am I here? Why would the richest, smartest man in the world want me as his assistant? Right now, I was at war with myself. My thoughts consumed my mind, body, and soul. I had to snap out of it and fast. Thinking like this would have me running for the exit doors.

"No Autumn, you deserve this, and you need this. So you're going to march your ass on up there and kill it." I talk to myself out loud; it helps me calm down. Sure enough, my breathing mellowed out, and I was out the restroom and headed for the elevator doors.

~

Once I reached my floor. My heart started racing again. I walked up to the front desk and was greeted by the receptionist.

"Hi, how can I help you?"She was looking straight at her computer screen, not giving me the slightest eye contact whats so ever.

"Hi, my name is Autumn, Autumn Rene Wright I'm here for an interview?" My voice was laced with nervousness.

"You're going to have to speak up because I can't hear you." She said, finally giving me the attention I deserved. She looked like your typical valley white girl. She had blond hair, blue eyes, and a tiny frame to match. I didn't have to see it for me to know that's what it was. I knew once she stood up from behind that desk. It would be on full display for everybody to see. The look she gave me showed me I didn't belong here. I cleared my throat before I uttered a word.

"Hi, my name is Autumn Rene Wright, and I'm here for an interview?"

"With ?" She said fast and snappy

"Dominic Amir Thomas." She looked me up and down, followed by a chuckle. I knew what she was thinking but couldn't say out loud due to the fact she's at work. She picked up her phone and dialed a number.

"Hey, Mr. Thomas, your interviewee has arrived at the front lobby." Her voice sounded like she was trying too hard. But, his, on the other hand, seemed irritated.

"I thought I told you to email me when she arrived, not call." Then the dial tone. I tried hard not to laugh because I knew what happened. Her face turned tomato red from embarrassment.

"Have a seat; he will be with you shortly." She said rolling her eyes

I walked over and took a seat. As I was waiting for my interview, I decided to take in my new surroundings. The office was beautiful and so elegant. The light frames were all chandelier. The carpets were a furry grey color, and the couches and chairs were so soft. I'm sure if I sat here long enough, I would be out like a light.