Lance Corporal - SNK fanfiction - LevixOC (volume 1)

Lance Corporal: Thread Softly, Thread Carefully (chapter 15)

LANCE CORPORAL - Levi x OC (pt. 15)
by galateabellator, Sep 6, 2014, 2:33:30 PM
Literature / Fan Fiction / Romance

Warning: Stong language, sensitive content, and if it can even be considered a bit of gore.

PART 15 - TREAD SOFTLY, TREAD CAREFULLY - Levi x OC

"Ezra... I didn't hear you coming. Thank God it's you," she whispered.

I would behead that God to whom you are praying to, Christiana Fitzgerald... for he must be the cruelest son of a bitch out there.

Her eyes were swollen, red. Hot tears were still smeared on her skin. I came closer. I openly stared into the corpse, to the face who was laughing with me for years, who shared my food, my fears, my missions. Who was a stupid, foolish boy who fell in love, and did everything he could do to make it work. He even lied for it. Betrayed for it. And he died for it, in the end.

"No... it can't be..." I whispered. "He can't be... dead..."

I've always thought that love can either make us exceptionally strong... or completely, and utterly weak. It can elevate us really high, where everything seems well and perfect. But, it also degrades us, to the lowest pits of desperation. And quite often, love does both. But one mustn't allow feelings to cloud one's judgment. Love is a trap, for both mind and heart, and allows to our partner to manipulate us in a way we'd never have even dreamed of. It can change us... for better, or for worse. Some people change to the point beyond recognition.

I've felt it on my own skin. I knew passion, and I knew love. I loved one man my whole life, and that will probably last until I am long dead, and gone. I was the type who either gives it all, or gives nothing. There's no middle ground. That's what love did to me. But, no matter what my emotions were... (and I have been very emotional, and very in love) I've always tried to be realistic and let my mind prevail, which was the case in most of my situations. I'd always think before allowing myself to do anything. Even with Levi. I'd known all the risks and all the possible outcomes with him, even when I was in the biggest emotional heath. But, some people never think before they act, they just follow that drive inside of them - and burn.

Ultimately, it's ours to decide what that strong urge we call 'love' will make of us. It doesn't even have to be love, for that matter. I just... don't understand those who say: 'I couldn't stop myself, or I did it because I felt it, and couldn't help it'. No. Everyone can stop, and think. Think before they hide behind an excuse of being emotional. They could've stopped themselves, they just didn't want to. I was trying to be honest in that matter, at least.

I've killed a man when I was eight years old, and I've killed him because I wanted to. Simple as that. I could've stopped, I've had a choice. But, he wanted to hurt me, and I wanted him dead. He begged me to spare him, but I didn't want to. Before my actions, I've thought how that might damage me for the rest of my life, and I knew that it would. I still killed him, all the same. That was my choice. The choice I made fully sober, under the great influence of pain, hurt, and stress, yes, but the choice which was calculated.

What to do with that fire inside of us, whether it was love, or fear, or revenge – our doing was our choice... ours alone. All emotions can be controlled. We simply choose not to. I chose not to be controlled by them either, that's why I always think before doing something from pure impulse.

But Hans was something entirely different comparing to me. He was mesmerized by Christiana, so devoted to her, so... under her spell, that it has almost been ridiculous. People tend to became fools when they fall in love, me included, yet again... I'd always known what I was doing. He didn't. He allowed her to manipulate him, to seduce him and loved her more than the life itself. And it looks like that was exactly the price he ultimately had to pay. His life.