Lance Corporal - SNK fanfiction - LevixOC (volume 1)

Lance Corporal: Her Majesty (chapter 27)

LANCE CORPORAL - Her Majesty (pt. 27)
by galateabellator, 1 week, 3 days ago
Literature / Fan Fiction / Drama

Warning: Minor swearing, grand revelations again.

PART 27 - HER MAJESTY - Levi x OC

- - - Erwin's office, present time - - -

I could have screamed. I could have cried. I could have blamed them, or even blame me, or blame this... horrid revelation - and curse my whole, damned existence in the process. I could have cursed this miserable life, and my so-called-luck. Because if this is considered to be luck, it may also be considered to be rotten to the core. Like my name, or my title, or my heritage. Like everything else.

I wasn't throwing a tantrum or anything. The story was pretty difficult to handle, but I remained relatively calm. I wasn't able to give any kind of reaction in the beginning - I guess I was too shocked, or too numb to react properly.

I have opened the door out of Erwin's office and stepped outside. I wasn't able to look at them anymore.

Everything that I was... or thought that I was... distorted and made me into someone I wasn't able to comprehend anymore. There's limit even to the strongest of us, and only so much that we can take.

I should have let it all out somehow - my bitterness, my rage, my feeling of helplessness, and that feeling of being done wrong. Could have made some kind of ruckus and act hysterical in order to ease my anger, my disappointment, my feeling of being helpless in front of cruel face of the simplest, yet most painful truth yet.

However, in reality, I did nothing – well, almost nothing - that little of what I did, was just standing like some kind of pillar, unable to move, or talk, or do anything at all. Except maybe gritting my teeth, and clenching my fists, and feeling something in my throat again that stopped me from talking to them in the first place. I wasn't able to, because it was choking me.

He went after me. I wasn't surprised, but I didn't want it. Not this time.

"Ezra..." his hand reached towards me, but I made a step behind. It was spontaneous reaction. I wasn't thinking, I wasn't looking at him either. It was almost like I wasn't able to recognize him. He never felt more distant, and more estranged to me than he was in that moment. And it hurt like Hell.

Tears begun to flow down my cheeks, despite my best efforts to hold them. The annoying drops of hot liquid made me nictitate my eyelids and made me blink a few times. I wasn't sobbing, not yet, but I felt like a total fool. And a failure.

"Ezra..." he repeated.

"You were there... when he..." I uttered, trying to hold my composure. Just for a bit longer. A moment longer, and I would be able to keep my cool. But in the end - I wasn't able to do that. The revelation was too much.

I shook my head, and wrapped my own hands around my upper body. Pressing hard into my own skin. Was I trying to... protect myself that way? And from whom - from him? Since when? He was the only one who had my complete and unconditional trust ever since I was a child. But now...

What a mess.

"I didn't know," he whispered. "I couldn't be sure. And even if I did..."

He was trying to explain. But nothing he was going to say in that moment could make things better.

"Hey. I get it," I interrupted, by lifting my head and finally facing him. His eyes were tired. And sad.

"No, you don't," he insisted. "You don't."