Close to Destiny (A Magical Love Story)

Chapter 54

"Why are you doing this to us?" Will whispered the words into my ear as he held me against him, our hearts beating rapidly in unison. "Do you know how hard it was for me to track you down?"

"Well you found me." I tried to keep my voice cool as I stepped back and lowered my eyes. I had been on my way out the door when he rounded the corner. And then I was somehow in his arms.

"Why can't you accept something so good?" Will asked, his hands holding mine.

"Let's go downstairs. That would be best."

"Rather than discuss this private subject in the privacy of your room?"

"Yes."

Silently, we walked side-by-side to the bar where I had met Gwen. At this middle-of-the-afternoon hour, we were the only customers. Will chose a narrow booth at the back of the room and ordered two glasses of wine that neither of us would end up drinking.

"So you do believe all that Destiny said. That's why I don't understand your decision. Why wouldn't you want to heal the old wounds?"

My eyes searched desperately to escape his gaze, but something kept drawing me into it. I took a deep breath as if the mere gesture could steel me against the lifetime of feelings bubbling up from within.

"They can't be healed, Will. Victoria and Jonathan were different people living in a different world. Even if part of them somehow remains within both of us, so much has changed."

"Such as?"

"Everything. All that we've experienced in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries etc., etc." I couldn't control my sarcasm, but he didn't seem to notice or care.

Then I looked at his hand holding mine across the table. I wouldn't pull away. I would allow myself this gift, this tiny bit of elation.

"Why are you denying yourself happiness?" he asked as if reading my mind.

"Because a relationship would only bring back those painful memories and the nightmares... oh, those terrible nightmares."

"Of Victoria's suicide?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"We could make it through together, Kat. We need each other. You can't give up on us this easily."

"I have to." My voice was hardly a murmur. I could feel the tears burning behind my eyes. "Please, understand me. The past is that and nothing more. And it should stay that way."

He pushed my hand away in one abrupt gesture.

"What is there to understand?" he asked.

"Will, I care about you, but we're better off apart, leading new, untarnished, healthy lives."

"That's bullshit, and you know it. Say you don't love me, Kat. Go ahead. Try to make it believable."

Tears were running down my cheeks uncontrollably all of a sudden.

"I don't love you," I said with my Academy Award-winning voice. But what came out as rage was really the pain of saying words that were anything but true.

"Maybe it is better this way, then." Will's face drained of most of its color. I was a better actress than I thought. "At least I can't blame myself, can't say I didn't try. The years working with Destiny. The years of searching two continents for you."

He tossed a few bills onto the table, grabbed his thin corduroy jacket and disappeared through the revolving glass door before I could whisper pathetically under my breath: I lied. I do love you.

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