𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 | 𝐭𝐯𝐝

41

TW- mentions of miscarriage, suicide attempts, and self-harm.

I left Elijah and Elena to chit chat and joined Damon and Stefan on the porch. The outside of the boarding house was beautiful. The porch was stone and held a table and swings. There were plants growing from the stairs, but it seemed to fit the aesthetic perfectly. There were stone walls bordering the outside. "Hi, boys." I sighed. "You heard us, didn't you?" Stefan immediately asked. I nodded. "Mhm. Don't worry. I'm fine. It's you," I beamed at Damon, "That I'm worried about. Why can't you trust Elena?" I scoffed. "You're all idiots. Elijah is an original vampire, Stefan. One we tried to kill. You're going to believe this guy?" Damon hissed. "What do you want us to do, Damon? Elena made her decision. She's choosing to trust Elijah. I'm going to put my faith in her. She put her faith in me. She chose to trust me in spite of what I am. I'm going to bet on somebody's instincts, it's going to be hers." Stefan rambled. "Why? She's going to end up dead. That makes you the biggest idiot of them all." Damon snapped. "It makes him a damn good boyfriend, actually. Trust and respect are crucial in a good relationship. It goes a long way with people. It would've gone a long way with me, Damon." I said. It was silent. "She chose to trust you, too." I finished. "Then maybe you shouldn't be so sure about her instincts," Damon replied. He took a sip of his drink and threw the rest into the plants, then went inside.

I sighed. "Elena's gonna make it." I smiled forcefully. Stefan looked at me. His face sunk and eyes watered. "You won't, Sundance." He said. His green eyes shined with tears. I could tell this was hurting him. To lose me. We know it's an 80% with Elena, but our plan to get the doppelgänger vampire out was barely a 50/50. "I know, Stefan. I was supposed to die four times now. I think I've had enough." I chuckled sadly.

Before my parents died and after the miscarriage, I was in a dark hole. I was constantly taking knives to my room and doing what I thought would help me. I got addicted to it. I was sad, grieving, and just needed an escape. So I picked up the pills and swallowed four at a time. Again, again, and again. I remember my mom cradling me in the ambulance.

flashback

"Grayson, oh my god." My mother sobbed as the wailing of the sirens fogged my ears. The doctors were trying to keep my vitals stable. What's the use anymore? I don't have my baby.

I was supposed to give birth to a beautiful baby and give her the life she deserved. Though the father was cruel, the baby would be kind and intelligent. I would cradle her and sing her beautiful songs. She'd be a beautiful butterfly.

I don't have that anymore. I failed my baby. It's my fault.

I threw my head over the stretcher and vomited. I was cold and trembling. "Oh, Sundance!" My mother cried. She threw her phone down and held me soundly. "Oh god. Oh, my sweet baby." She sobbed.

We pulled into the hospital and I blacked out.

now

Then there was the other time I tried to OD after my parents' crash, the time Damon snapped my neck, and the other million times I have been attacked as a vampire. "No. No, Sundance. Sunny, you have to- We'll get through this. We'll save you. We have to." Stefan shook his head. "Hey, hey hey." I frowned. I grabbed his hands. "You have Elena, Stefan. Okay? You're gonna take her around the world, remember? Just like you promised me. Show her places. Get married. Stay in love, Stefan."

I can't cry. Don't cry.

But a tear slipped past my cheek. A tear fell down Stefan's as well. "You're gonna be fine, Doctor Fangs," I whispered.

I cupped his right cheek with my hand and smiled reassuringly, then walked inside. I took a deep breath and walked to the front door. Jenna and Alaric stood in front of me. "Stay away from me," Jenna warned. Elena, Stefan, Damon, and Elijah joined us. I sped over to Klaus. "What do you want?" I hissed. "Klaus let me go. It's Ric. I can prove it. Uh, Jenna, the first night you and I spent together, Jeremy walked in right when I was about to..."

Jenna was quick to interrupt him. "Okay, it's him." She sighed and lowered the crossbow. "Why did he let you go?" Stefan asked. "He wanted me to deliver a message. The sacrifice happens tonight." Alaric said. I looked at Stefan.

We all crowded in the living room and questioned Alaric. We were all shocked by the message. So soon?

"So you don't remember anything that happened?" I sighed. "No. It's like I blacked out and woke up three days later. Katherine was there." Ric replied. "She's under compulsion. Damon snuck her some vervain, but she can't leave until Klaus tells her she can." Stefan clarified. "Where is Damon?" Elena frowned. "Upstairs," Jenna answered. She got up and walked upstairs.

I walked into my room and closed the door. I took a deep breath and wandered over to the window. Was I truly ready for this? I have friends now. Friends, a family, and trust in myself and my actions. It hurts. It hurts letting that go because months ago, I had nothing. Now? Now I have something I can't possibly let go.

But Elena will be okay, so everyone else will.

I wish Stefan could have taken me somewhere. Maybe Greece. Will that be my heaven? A cottage, surrounded by the most beautiful animals. I'd be human and surrounded by three beautiful children. I'd have an amazing husband and enjoy the sun again. The warmth isn't completely there as a vampire. Would Maybe there? Oh of course. She would. I would make sure May was a happy child. She'd keep me happy.

Maybe this isn't so bad.

Stefan's POV

This is really really bad. I can't lose Sundance and I truly cannot lose Elena. Elena might not make it but Sundance? She is relying on her feet to take her away from the big bad hybrid. Unless we find a replacement for her, Sundance is sure to die. I can't lose her. I just can't.

I remember seeing her face up close for the first time. Sure I saw it when I pulled her from the water, but nothing could compare to seeing her bright green eyes in person. She must have thought I was pretty attractive, (I mean who wouldn't) because a blush crept onto her face the first few times we made eye contact. Although Elena was alluring, Sundance had it all. But then I fell in love with Elena. For a minute, I forget I love her. Sundance made me forget everything and and focus on us.

She's slithered her way into my life and coiled around my every thought. Sundance has become the very thing that made the clouds depart and bring in a light I may not have known was there otherwise. How could I lose her?
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sacrifice next chapter bc i wanted it on an even # chapter lol