A Piece Of Me [Completed] ✅

Chapter 29

Jungkook

"Park! Are you ready?" I screamed for my husband as I guided our Jinnie out to the car. He was doing okay, but he'd  been experiencing some lower back pain for several days now. Fortunately, today was the day for his elective c-section.

He smiled happily at me, before cupping my chin and placing a soft kiss to my lips that sent sensual vibrations through my whole body. I moaned and he laughed lightly, fully aware of his effect on me.

"My naughty hyungie," he teased me, "always ready to jump into bed with me." He giggled cutely and I closed my eyes, smiling sheepishly at his truth.

My husband joined us with Jinnie's hospital bag and we made our way to receive our little angel.

Over the last 2 months, we had readied a nursery with essentials for our baby until we were ready to take him to our permanent home. Haleomoni had still stationed herself at our hotel. She was keeping a respectful distance for now but I knew a confrontation was inevitable and many unresolved issues would have to be addressed soon. But there was time for that later. For now, our baby was our priority.

After merely an hour of surgery, we welcomed our not so little miracle, Jeon Seojoon. He weighed in at roughly 8lbs (pounds) and he looked so much like me when I was little, except for his eyes and lips, which were Jinnie's. He was gorgeous and he was an attention seeker immediately.

Dr Yoo hadn't sedated Jinnie and had allowed us to be present during the operation. I kissed Jinnie lovingly as we gazed at our baby. My husband was crying like crazy, snapping pictures of us all.

Jinnie was wheeled into recovery a short while later and he would remain in hospital for 5 days before he was allowed back with us. Namjoon and Hoseok came everyday to see our little one through the nursery window. They cooed at his beauty but he was a cryer for sure. He only stilled if he was in his appa's arms or my husband's.

I watched my husband blossom when Seojoon was in his arms. He cried a lot but mostly when he thought I wasn't looking. I knew he felt the pain and loss of our daughter even more now. I know, because I felt it too. But holding Seojoon in my arms was like a balm that helped to heal that wound slowly.

We took turns to feed him and change him but mostly, Jinnie fed him himself. We stood and watched in awe as he drank his fill from his appa. If Jinnie was glowing throughout his pregnancy, it was nothing compared to how he looked now. He was practically dazzling. He was so beautiful and amazing with our baby.

As the days passed, and they were allowed to come home with us, I would catch Jinnie lost in thought a lot. I know he felt the loss of his own children and it greatly affected him. I wish I could have been there for him back then, but I knew I couldn't change the past, at least I could try to make his present and future a beautiful time with us.

I showered him and our baby with constant love and attention, spending all of my free time out of the office with them. It helped that we were three, so we divided chores easily as we settled into a routine with our new bundle of joy. 

But as the days turned to weeks and then two months had flown by, I noticed a change in Jinnie. He was more quiet and closed up from us. I spoke to my husband about it and we both decided to observe him.

"Maybe he has PND, you know, post-natal depression. Like something I suffered after our baby," my husband suggested.

It seemed plausible and we resolved to speak to his doctor at his next visit so he could seek professional medical help. I worried about him daily and most nights my husband would keep the baby so Jinnie could rest. I would then join him and cuddle into him, spooning against his body. He would sigh happily and smile softly before falling off to sleep in my arms.

Exactly 3 months after our baby was born, and we were almost ready to take him home permanently, our Jinnie left us.

My husband and I had gone out to the store to get a few things. When we returned, not even twenty minutes later, we found our Seojoon sleeping soundly in his cot and a note on his nursery table.

(The above is the letter that Jinnie wrote. If you cannot download it, please let me know, I will type it out)

"NOOOOOOO!!!" I screamed in agony, startling Seojoon who woke up screaming. I don't even know how Jimin got him to calm down and fall off to sleep eventually. I was consumed in my grief, the tears falling uncontrollably. I felt my husband pull me up and almost drag me to the living room.

"Why Park! Why would he do this?"

"I don't know Jeon. I don't know....but I think we need to respect his decision. As much as I want him with us, I don't know why, but I've been feeling like he was keeping something from us for the past few days, even distancing himself from us very slowly."

"I can't Park! I love him! I need him! Put a trace on his Swiss bank account now! Check his transaction history. I'll have Namjoon check any flags on his passport!"

"No Jeon. Read what he said in his note. He asked us not to look for him. He even left his phone. Maybe he needs time. Let's give him that at least. You, yourself felt that he was behaving oddly these last few weeks. I know how you feel Jeon, I feel it too. I love him too. But I don't know why my heart is telling me to let him go for now."

I don't know why I just couldn't get my heart and mind around my husband's words when deep down I knew he was right. He tried to hold onto me but I shrugged him off and pulled out my phone. I didn't care if he did not want to be found, I was still going to look for him. I called Namjoon.

Namjoon, I want you to put a flag on Jin's passport.

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What do you mean, why?! I don't care what you tell the authorities! I want him found!

I turned to look at my husband but he was bent doubled on the floor, crying uncontrollably. My own tears flowed without censure. My lips trembled and my heart pained in agony. Deep within my heart, I knew it was fruitless. If he did not want to be found, I wouldn't be able to find him. He was gone and I had to accept the cruel truth. My Jinnie was lost to us.

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My dear swties, please don't hate Author-nim. I ask you once again to trust me, even if you don't feel like it right now.

😢😢😢

I purple you 💜

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Love Swty 😙