Chapter 31

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Jungkook


TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD ⚠

I met my husband when we were both studying for our MBA in Accounting and Business. We immediately clicked. He was the perfect balance to me and I to him. I suppose I knew very early on that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He was perfect in every way. Our families too, were in complete agreement with us when we told them.

It's pretty easy to fall in love with Jimin. Everyone he met, he left a lasting impression on. So I wasn't surprised with the umpteen messages and visits from a lot of people that I didn't even know but knew him.

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It was a sublime day for his funeral. The warmth of the sun kissed our faces as we stood beside the gravesite, where we would lay him to rest. I reflected on the last two months as the minister intoned the last rites.

Flashback to a week ago

"Will you ever forgive me Jeon? When I made those terms in the contract, I didn't know we would miss him this much."

"It's not your fault Park. You told him to stay but he left of his own free will. He made that decision. You didn't hold a gun to his head."

"I'm just so confused, why wouldn't he take any of the money? It's been months now but he hasn't touched it."

"I don't know Park. I don't know. I just hope wherever he is, he isn't suffering and living a life like he used to."

"I hope not Jeon."

"I don't want to talk about him Park."

I took his hand into my own as he squirmed in pain. I watched the monitors jump a little and I moved his bangs away from his flushed face. "Why didn't you tell me Park? You could have gone in for treatment. You could have beat this thing."

"I'm sorry Jeon but there was no hope. The doc gave me 6 months to a year at most. I've been living on borrowed time. I didn't want to spend my last few days of happiness with you and our son, writhing in agony and being in and out of hospitals."

The tears flowed easily now. I was losing the man of my dreams, my first true love, my best friend, my loving husband. He truly was my better half. How was I supposed to go on without him? This wasn't in our plans. We were supposed to live a long, and happy life with our child. I couldn't do this without him.

Present Day

"Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust." The minister intoned as we dropped the earth over his coffin. I placed his wedding band over the coffin as it was lowered. My heart cried and my chest was filled with an unbearable pain. I bent down and cried as the rest of the earth covered his grave.

"I'm sorry my son. I know I haven't been here for you like I should have. But I want you to know that if you need me for anything, you can always call on me."

I looked up and saw Chang standing next to my haleomoni, who was seated in her wheelchair. Chang was crying quietly. I know my husband had liked him a lot and he too had a lot of time for Jimin. My grandmother's words brought little comfort to my heart but I didn't want to get into an argument at my husband's resting place. So I just nodded and got up.

Our son was fast asleep in his little stroller, his new nanny standing to attention next to it. I didn't like her much. She was much too cold and stoic but I didn't have a lot of time to find someone to help me with Seojoon when Jimin became ill.

Hoseok limped over to me and patted my back while Namjoon walked beside me to go back home. My parents and Jimin's mother were already in their cars. I was glad this day was over. I needed to be away from everyone. I wanted to be alone in my grief and having everyone around me with their words of condolences, was not helping me in any way.

I kissed my son on his forehead and drove to the Marina Bay. I sat on the bricked wall and watched the quiet water. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I recalled memories of coming here with my Jimin. He loved this place and we would come here often. Unfortunately, we hadn't come here in the recent past and I cursed my fate once again for not knowing about his depleting health sooner. I could have brought him here. Made him happier. I could have done so many things but I was denied.

I know he had his reasons for keeping things from me but I wish I hadn't been so blind, so wrapped up in Seokjin, that I didn't notice my husband's health issues. I was an idiot and I didn't deserve to even be his husband.

Seokjin.....when I think of him now, my mind and my heart fills with anger. He knew about Jimin and he still left. He knew Seojoon would be left without his papa and yet he chose himself over us than to stay and be with his son. He chose to leave his son. He chose to leave me.

I wiped my tears away viciously. I would cry no more. I had my son to take care of. He was the only person that mattered to me now.

I looked over the calm waters and a fire burned within me. I would give him my everything. I would work hard and be the best father to him so he would never lack the love of another parent.

My heart swelled with love and pain for the last time as I thought of my husband. And then it hardened to a cusp when I thought on Seokjin. I hate you Kim Seokjin. I hate you with the same passion I once loved you with. I hope I never laid eyes on you ever again!

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A sad farewell to my most beloved character Jimin. I will surely miss you.....😢😢😢

This ff is coming to an end soon. I want to thank each and every one of you for reading, voting and adding it to your reading lists. Your support means everything to me.

I purple you 💜

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Love Swty 😙

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