Amethyst 2. Embark ✓ [Editing Now]

21. Confess

I felt empty.

I opened my eyes after what felt like days and stared up at the high ceiling. I took a deep shuddering breath. He's not here. He's never going to touch me again.

I felt a presence beside me and turned to see Crystal, curled up on the mattress, inches away from me. Everything came rushing back to me and I felt a wave of embarrassment. I wanted to scream. It had happened again, and at the worst possible moment. When would I break through the shackled of my past?

I was still shirtless, but she had pulled on a simple white dress. I gazed at her, my heart wrenching with agony before her eyes fluttered open.

She gazed up at me. "Hey."

"Hey."

My voice sounded hoarse and I vaguely wondered if I had thrown up or screamed. Maybe cried.

She sidled up to me and place her chin on my chest, gazing affectionately up at me. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I was run over by a truck."

She took my hand in hers and grazed her lips gently on it.

"How long was I out for?"

"Erm..." she began. "It's one am."

I groaned. "So like... eight hours?"

"Almost."

I raked a hand through my hair, gripping it in frustration. I couldn't look at her. All I wanted was to run away from there.

She moved closer to me. "Look at me Zeke," I didn't. How could I? "Zeke. Hey."

I couldn't look at her. Not after everything that had happened.

I felt her lips on my cheeks as she kissed me gently. I could feel her warmth and wanted to pull her closer. Her lips traveled to my ear, kissing the spot below it. She placed her hand on my chest. She whispered my name again. Her soft caressing kisses made me want to give in to her. But my shame held me back.

I didn't know how much she had realized. How much she knew. Either way, I never wanted anyone to find out. Apart from my father and aunt. And yet, she had, in a moment when I was most vulnerable.

It made me feel naked.

"Ezekiel..." she whispered and my heart lurched. There was something about her taking my full name that was strangely erotic. "I love you Ezekiel."

My heart stopped at her words.

I finally turned to look at her as she leaned back and our eyes met. "What?"

She smiled shyly, her eyes twinkling. "I love you."

I stared at her, my heart leaping in my chest. I felt warm. Content. Happy. Her eyes sincere.

I gazed at her, my own heart filling with an unfamiliar feeling. I asked her stupidly. "Why?"

She took a deep breath, leaning over me as she kissed the top of my nose. She sighed softly. "I know maybe it's too soon but...I've never met someone like you. Because you're wonderful," she kissed my cheek. "Brave," She trailed kisses to my jaw. "Strong," She bit my ear gently. "Kind,"
She trailed kisses to my neck, her lips just grazing y skin as my heart fluttered. "Caring," her lips travelled to my mouth as she kissed the corner of it. "Smart,"

She leaned back till she was looking at me and bit her lip. Her familiar, mischievous smile lighting up her eyes. "And so..so..." she leaned forward till her lips were hovering inches form mine as she whispered."Fucking hot."

I laughed at her words, pulling her close to me as I kissed her tenderly. "I love you too Crystal. Because no one has ever made me feel the way you do."

I felt comfortable around her. Safe. I hadn't realized the truth of the words till I said them. I could feel her face heating up at my words.

I couldn't understand why the memories had come back to me. But I no longer wanted to be tied down by them.

I gripped her waist and turned her over so I was on top. I kissed her hungrily, my tongue exploring her mouth as fire burst in the pit of my stomach.

"I want you, Cris. I want to try again." I whispered, tugging at her clothes desperately. My heart raced in my chest, my stomach knotting nervously. I kissed her neck, sucking on her skin as I felt myself harden. I pulled her body close to mine, fitting her with it.

She held me close, her breath hitching when I grazed my teeth on her skin.
I let my hands slide under her dress, squeezing the inside of her thighs."Cris..I want..."

Lust clouded my brain till it was hard to talk. I wanted her desperately. My body was aching for her.

"Zeke...Zeke..." she whispered, caressing my face as she pulled me towards her and gazed into my eyes. "I think we should take it slow."

I stared at her, my heart beating erratically. "I'm fine. I want this. I want you now."

I lowered my face to kiss her again. She kissed me back once. Twice. Before placing her hand on my mouth. "It's okay Zeke. I'm not going anywhere. We'll wait till you're ready."

I gazed at her, my throat closing up. I bent down and bit her earlobe gently as she gasped, and a savage pleasure ripped through my body. "I am ready. Let me-"

"Zeke..." she whispered, her voice low, as if her resolve was breaking. "I want you too. You don't have to prove anything Zeke. I love you. I'll wait."

I stared at her, feeling my heart constricting. I touched my forehead to hers, closing my eyes as I took deep breaths. I couldn't speak. My heart a turmoil of emotions.

Geoffrey had wrecked me. Shattered my life. It took all my strength to gather pieces of me. All my night terrors. All the fear. All the hesitation I felt till date. He was my demon. I thought I was over with it, but even in  parallel universe, I was haunted. Like each cell of my body remembered. 

All the sleepless nights. All the days I had spent crying. All the time it had taken for me to finally trust my own father. All the agony that had ripped me apart till I was nothing but a hollow shell. I had fought every day since. Against the thoughts within myself. And I was terrified I would have to nurture the scar forever.

"I love you too." I managed to choke out before I lay beside her, curling my arm around her and pulling her close to me as I started to fall asleep again, cocooned by her warmth and protected by her love.