But I love her

5~the park

It was Thursday night, two days after the dinner. I've been staying with the Thompson's. They've been nice and I know I'm always welcome here and safe but it just felt wrong. It's not like this hast happened before. It happened three years ago when my mom died. Me and my dad used to get in huge fights and eventually I'd have enough and come here for a few days. This time it felt just wrong. My dad kept calling me but I just ignored him. Something inside me is telling me to make things right. I don't know if it's the fact that I miss my home or that there's a football game on Friday or that I feel weird here. I'm just not quite ready to make things right. My dad's probably about ready to come down here and drag me home. I don't think I've ever been here this long.

"Dude I need help" I said walking into the room I've been staying in for the past week. There was a girl in there. I don't know who it was but I felt awkward. "I'm sorry I'll just come back later"

"Adrien wait!" Maverick called after me.

"No you're clearly busy"

"I'm just doing a project with her, it's not anything else I swear" he grabbed my shoulders.

"Okay I believe you" I removed his hands from my shoulders.

"What did you need help with, man?"

"Oh it's nothing you should get back to your project" he gave me that look. He knew I was lying. "Seriously dude it's nothing we can talk later"

"I've known you since third grade, man. You really think you can lie to me and I believe it. Yeah no I don't think that's happening" he gave me that 'are you serious' look.

"Okay busted I wanted to talk about my dad situation" I came clean.

"Okay let me tell Julia she has to go and then we'll talk" I guess her name is Julia. We walked back into the room.

I leaned on the doorframe while he broke the news to her. She didn't quite understand why he was kicking her out just to talk with me. She probably thought we were going to talk about football when really it was something  way more important. She grabbed her bag with frustration and stormed out of the room and house.

"What do you need man?" Maverick said, plopping down on his bed.

"Well I kinda wanna apologize to my dad but I don't know"

"What do you not know?"

"I don't know if I want to. I don't want to get in another fight with him. But I don't want to live like this anymore. Don't get me wrong I love being here. It's literally my second home but I can't live without football. I don't want to be without the thing I love most in this world. I know I go home and try to sort things out there's going to be a lot of yelling and fighting before peace. That's just how my dad works. He's tough and now he's gonna be more strict than ever. I don't want to live like this but I can't get past what my dad said."

"It sounds like there are two ways this could go," Maverick said. I looked up signaling for him to go on. "one, you could stay here and things will always be like this and maybe worse. Or two, go home and things will be a little rocky at first but get better in the end." I nodded. "Think about it for a day and do what you think is best on Saturday."

He knows I already made up my mind. What I need to think about is how it's going to happen. How am I going to go home and make things right? Maverick's right, it's going to be rocky at first but it will get better. It's like the saying goes 'it'll get worse before it gets better'.
***
A/n: for all those going through tough times remember that quote. It will get better in the end. All you have to do is push through it and it will be okay. You are strong enough. Don't give up hope. I know you can do it. Look for the light in all things.
***
The next day went by in a blur. I was hardly there, mentally. Physically I was there but mentally I was somewhere else. I was thinking all day about how after school would go. Planning everything out. I know Maverick said to do something on Saturday but I couldn't wait. Something was eating away at me. Guilt. Pain. Anger. I don't know exactly but it wasn't getting any better. I had to do it soon before my conscience tore me apart.

'The time is now' I thought to myself. I was outside my house. I haven't been here in what feels like forever. It felt weird being here again. I took a few deep breaths and made sure my dad was there by looking at his car. I took one more deep breath and thought to myself 'I can do this'. I walked in my house for the first time in about a week.

Nothing has changed. Pictures still lined the wall. Happy pictures. There's a lot of me and mom. I take my favorite off the wall. It was a picture of me and my mom. I was learning how to ride a bike for the first time. The picture was taken when I was on the ground after I fell. I scraped my knee and my mom came to help me up. I remember it like it was yesterday.
***
"Mommy, mommy! Help me! I'm gonna fall!" I yelled in fear.

"It's okay honey just keep on pedaling" she yelled after me.

"Mommy!" I yelled as I fell off my bike. Immediately I was in tears and my mom rushed over to me.

"It's okay honey get back up on your bike and try again"

"Mommy I can't my knees hurts" I whined.

"Yes you can honey. Remember this, no matter how bad it hurts you have get up and try again." She encouraged me.

"Okay mommy" I said sadly. I got back on and rode without falling.
***
Someone cleared their throat behind me. I looked up and saw my dad standing there. "I remember when that photo was taken"

"Yeah"

"You were only seven. We thought you needed to wait one more year but you insisted that you were ready. Your mom caved when you gave her puppy dog eyes. We were out there for hours reaching your own to ride. Your mother was so anxious about you riding and when you fell, she was frantic. She rushed over there but hid her anxiety and calmly talked to you and got you to get back on. I never knew what she said to get you back on but when you did I saw a proud smile on her face. But do you know my favorite part of you learning how to ride a bike?" I shook my head. We never talk about the times we had with mom except on October 29. "I loved how every Wednesday after that we all rode our bikes together to the park and had a picnic. I loved how we spent  time together as a family no matter what. My favorite part was when you'd go off and play on the monkey bars with a friend you'd made two minutes before. Me and your mother would watch you with such joy evident on our faces. We'd smile and watch you grow up. You haven't touched your bike since mom died."

"That's because it reminds me of her and it hurts me to think about her to much"

"Yeah I know I know"

"Look dad I'm sorry for yelling at you and storming out of the house and skipping practice and athletics"

"It's okay you had every right to be mad but running away was a foolish thing to do even if it was just a few blocks away. You know I'm going to have to ground you for two weeks for that right?"

"Yeah I know"

"And son I'm sorry I said those things to you. I should've worded it differently. I guess what I really meant is I should've chosen both. I regret not making that choice. The choice to have the two things I love most in this world. If I didn't have one of those things I wouldn't have the third thing I love most." He hugged me.

"It's okay Dad, I forgive you" I said still in the hug.

"Good," He said, releasing me but grabbing a hold of my shoulders. "Now what do you want for dinner?" He asked. "I'm thinking maybe Chinese takeout..." He continued on but I didn't listen. I thought about my mom and my bike. I thought for a while and debated with myself inside my head. I made a final decision. I'm taking my bike on Wednesday and having a picnic in the park watching all the little kids play just like Mom and dad did to me.
***
Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! My favorite part is the flashback! There's many great parts to come! Comment vote and follow!
                       Until next time,
                                   Kylagrace21