Between You & Me || Luke & Jai Brooks

Chapter XLVIII - Home Sweet Home... Almost

Finally, after what seems like forever, the plane touches down on the tarmac. Brazil was a whirlwind, my birthday was amazing, spent at a huge soccer game and the beach. All I could think about though was my last birthday, which was probably my best birthday ever. Even though I had my arm in a sling and my ribs were broken, it was the first time I'd felt like everything was going to be alright. Now... now I just don't know. Luke sits beside me but we aren't touching, and we haven't felt on the same level for a while.

As the plane shudders along the runway at Adelaide Airport though, Luke turns to me. I see the look in his eyes and recognise it, the burning passion just barely kept beneath the surface. Our eyes lock. And he pulls me in fiercely, fingers entwined in my hair, holding my lips to his. It's brief, but leaves me sitting there breathing heavily. What do we do now? I think. I thought he was the one but now... sometimes he's here and sometimes he's not.

"I had to do that." Luke says quietly, running a hand through his curls, eyes dark and turbulent.

My mouth is open slightly, lips parted. He's looking at me, but again I see the eyes from yesterday, the nothing-special eyes. My brain is whirring but nothing comes to mind and he's turning away before I say, "Luke, I-"

"Don't worry about it." He says. And he walks away.

****
"He walked away, Mel. Just like that. No second glance, nothing." I bawl, tears pouring down my cheeks. She holds my hand in both of hers, murmuring things to calm me down. But I am calm, inside. My voice is dead. There's no emotion in my tone anymore. Mel looks alarmed at the contrast. My eyes are red and swollen from crying and I'm curled in a ball on my bed. My situation shows completely my punishment. I was greedy. I wanted both. And now... I don't think I have either.

I can't explain that to Mel though, because how far back does it go? Have I always wanted Jai? I can't remember feeling any different to how I do now, about either of them. Except the disconnection between Luke and I. I need to make a decision, now. I can't stay here crying in Luke's and my hotel room, while he's hanging out in Beau's room.

But how can I choose either or? If I choose Luke, Jai will be hurt, and I've seen him like that, like he is now, and I hate it. But if I choose Jai, what will Luke think? I'll lose him! I can't lose Luke, I absolutely can't. Without Luke I couldn't survive, there's nothing more to it. I love nothing more than watching him take photos with such care, or snuggling up with him after a long day, pressing my feet against his warm legs and resting my head on his chest. He holds me together.

So then the choice is clear. I push Mel away gently and swipe my finger under my eyes to get rid of my tears. She looks carefully down at me and I make sure I'm composed, not even letting my bottom lip tremble. "I'm fine." I say strongly. "I'm just going to see Luke." Mel nods, silently, and I get up shakily and walk across the hall to knock on the door.

Knock knock.

"Luke?" It's barely a whisper through the crack of the door, but I hear the handle twist almost instantly.

"What is it, babe?" He sounds weary and it hurts my heart. What does he think of me now? If he's hurting because of me...

Before I know it, I'm bawling again and I'm in Luke's arms, sobbing into his chest. His smell calms me down more than Mel ever could, because it's him, it's Luke, and just his presence is enough to heal me. Because I love him.

Well, why don't you say it?

"Luke, I love you." I whisper, and I hear him sob once, loudly, and feel him bury his head into my hair, tears wet against my head.

"I l-love you too." He replies, his words catching in his throat, tearing at my heartstrings. "And I'm sorry that I'm keeping you away from Jai, I know that you l-love him t-too." He sobs quietly into my hair and my heart feels like it's shattered into tiny pieces, and the tiny pieces are stabbing me inside like shards of glass.

"No, Luke, that's not true! I only love you! You're my one and only, I've told you that before. But not enough. I'm here right now because I've just realised it myself. Without you, I c-couldn't survive." My last word is cut off by his lips, strong and sure and salty from his tears. And he picks me up and carries me to the bed, Beau's bed, part of my brain is screaming, but the other part just wants all of Luke, anywhere. I'd do it on the floor if it meant having Luke inside of me again. I would do it in the hotel hallway, I need him that badly.

Well, why don't you tell him?

The little voice in my head is back, coaching me. It's so funny in that moment that I start to wonder if I've gone insane, but I listen to it like usual.

"Luke, please, I want you so bad! I need you inside me now, I need us to be together again, properly! Please, I love you!"

Luke's lips stray down onto my neck hungrily and I can feel him leaving hickeys but I don't care. His lips trail lightly up to my ear as he lays me on the bed. "Why don't we see how many times I can make you say 'please'?" He whispers, and I can feel his lips brushing against my ear, making me shiver.

"Okay," I breathe. "I'll do anything, Luke, please."

"That's one." He says, his mouth going back to my neck, sucking on the skin there to leave another love bite. His fingers go to his shirt suddenly and he pulls it off, placing my hands on his bare chest.

"Oh, please, Luke!" I cry, and I feel the wave of pleasure reach up finally and pull me in.

*authors note*
Oh shit you guys I was at a party last night and I got pretty drunk then a bunch of us slept at my friend's house, and a guy I used to be in a thing with, that's kind of a fuckboy, was there. So we were getting along really well and then when it was time to go to sleep we ended up hooking up and there were hands in places I shouldn't mention and now I have a hickey and I had to tell my parents that no boys slept over because they were gonna go apeshit so now I have a hickey and a hell of a lot of guilt and I haven't seen my dad because he's gonna go off his nut. So yeah hahahaha kill me now.