𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃 | ❝ Your heart was crafted from the finest of golds, Bonnie. ❞
━ IN WHICH Fawnie Shelby's life is turned upside down after the death of her beloved brother. Or, alternatively, Fawnie manages to find love amidst a war.
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It was times like these when Fawn wished she grew up like she was destined to. As a real g-word woman, with her mum, living off whatever they could catch on the land around them that day. The dream frequented Fawnie's mind, a constant reminder of the life she could– should –have had.
She longed for the day when she'd be able to leave the shit hole city that she grew up in. To smell fresh, crisp air every morning as she stumbled out of her vardo to relight the fire. That used to be her favorite dream, now, with Esme gone her favorite dream was one where John embraced that side of him.
Where he, his kids, and Esme went to travel like Esme used to. Fawn would give anything to have her brother alive again. And she would also give anything for Thomas Shelby to get a fucking brain.
Many often assume Fawn is the closest to Tom, perhaps it's the striking physical similarities between the two, their eyes both piercing and seeming to be missing something behind them. Fawn knew what people meant when they said she was without a soul.
She could see the emptiness in her eyes before John's death, only now, it's more prominent. Just like Tommy, she's missing a large part of herself. But unlike Tom, she would never ever use someone's funeral fire as a beacon to gain the enemy's attention... Fawn tried to ignore the memory of her snapping and screaming at Tom like a mad man, but it kept poking her until she just allowed the anger to wash over her.
━━━━ Flashback ━━━━
"The men doing the firing are on our side. I took the trouble... of giving an invitation to Aberama Gold."
Johnny Dogs sighed, "Ah fuck, now it's begun." Fawn felt the gears in her head begin turning as she tried to piece what the fuck just happened together.
Polly must have figured it out quicker than Fawnie because she began speaking right as Fawn opened her mouth, "Put it out in the open on purpose. You used John's funeral fire as a fucking beacon."
The gasp that left Fawn's lips was short and loud, Finn had helped her up a few moments ago and she wiped her hands on her dress, wanting to clean them of mud so she can slap Tom for his stupidity. "We were never in any danger Polly," Arthur announced loud enough for everyone to hear.
Polly held a hand to her mouth, "You set a trap."
"Finn?" Tom called, ushering Finn forward with his words. Finn looked back at Fawn with a silent apology and Fawn nodded, not wanting him to see her give Tom the worst verbal arsewhooping he's ever gotten. "Finn? Go to the yard and light the fires." Tom pointed off into the distance, toward Charlie's Yard.
Once Finn seemed out of earshot, Fawn pushed her way forward, wanting to look Tom in the eyes as he explained who was dead to her aunt Polly. "Our enemies." He stated simply. She knew he wanted the conversation to end, the only person he seemed to speak to these days was Ada and Arthur because nobody wants to be around Tom for more than is needed.
"You wanna know, Poll? Two fucking no good Italians heard about the vendetta, tried to make a fucking name for themselves, that's who."
Arthur stepped forward, "We got word to them about the funeral, the where, the when... Told them where to stand for the best shot." The confession made Fawn lose it, she rushed at Tom, hands raised to slap him repeatedly.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!? Are you mad!? Using John's fucking funeral as a motherfucking signal. GOD, YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID!" She screamed and wailed as she hit him, not long after, Arthur seized her, pulling her away from his brother. "Let me go, Arthur! He deserves to feel a semblance of the pain I feel! Tom's a fucking masochist! Do you like having your family despise you, Thomas?!"
Fawn spat at the ground near Tom's feet, "You're sick, Tom, fucking disgusting! You've got no right to call yourself a Shelby, Shelby's don't fucking use each other as beacons! Have you thought of that you FUCKING KNOB! LET ME GO!" Arthur nearly struggled to hold his sister with her thrashing around in his arms.
Tom's jaw was tense and his fists clenched, he moved toward Fawn and gripped her chin tightly. His blue eyes resembled flames, angry and hot. "Call myself a Shelby? That's rich, Fawnie, you're only half. You're lucky to be able to claim the Shelby name. Fuckin' yell at me again, I dare you." He pushed her jaw away harshly.
"Dare me? Okay, you fucking cunt! Do you honestly think that I'm scared of you!? Arthur might be your lapdog but I will never tuck my fuckin' tail! You're fucking sick, Tom!" Tears began welling in her eyes again, the anger turning into immense pain and agony. "How could you use John's funeral, as a fucking beacon?! How could you?!"
━━━━ End of Flashback ━━━━
It burned, being called out on her heritage. Ever since she was young, she's worked on proving herself as a genuine Shelby. As someone who's deserving of the Shelby name. Even if only her family knows that her mother wasn't Miriam Shelby... they still made her feel like an outsider looking in.
That is, everyone but John. He was the first one to welcome Fawnie with open arms, doing his best to make her feel at home. Then followed Finn, then Winifred, then Ada, then Arthur... and lastly, Thomas. He was the most difficult of the siblings, he didn't trust his father, Fawn suspected he thought that Fawnie was some kind of plant to cause chaos and overthrow the family.
She was three years old at the time...
Eventually Tom and Fawn became somewhat close. Constantly being told they look so much alike pushed them closer. Fawn wanted to think Tom truly accepted her, but sometimes she saw the looks he gave her. Often times, it was one of pure annoyance, as if Fawnie was a tick that the Shelby family just couldn't seem to rid themselves of.
Fawn now felt close to nothing for Thomas, wanting nothing more than to curse him out some more and run away. Even if it was child's play, running off... ignoring one's responsibilities is by far the most euphoric experience she's ever felt.
Her bedroom was cold and lonely... she thought about her sister a lot now. After losing Winnie to Kimber, Fawn's done her utmost best to not think about her. Thinking that if she ignored the problem, it'd go away. But Fawn realized it didn't work at all, if anything, the wound from her sister's passing was far worse now.
Alongside the festering pain over John's passing sat a scar reminding Fawnie of the tragedy of Winifred Shelby.
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