✓the three words • kim seungmin

n i n e

edited 22aug21

• chapter 9: this is sick

I set my foot on the cold tile with my face still flushed red from the incident earlier. I'm such an idiot. Why did I say that out loud? Why do I have to embarrass myself in front of him?

Jeongin is probably sulking right now.

"Where were you?" My mom asked as I poured some fresh orange in my cup.

"Out with a friend. We have a partnering homework." I replied, not even bothering to explain further. She would not mind if I told her I went for a food hunt too.

She just nodded before continuing to watch the news with my twin brothers on the floor, playing with their soft toys. Without saying any words I made my way to my room.

The teacher gave us too many homeworks and I don't think I could finish them if I'm procrastinating now. Even I miss my bed, homeworks come first.

So here I am, sitting on the chair struggling with homeworks. I'm not lying when I say this is hard. Not having someone to help me for studies is a challenge. I usually do study groups because being the dumb ass I need at least a friend to guide me.

I wonder when will I able to be like my other friends.

An hour passed by when my mom knocked on the door. She opened it before I could say anything and peeked her head in. I silently sighed.

"Oh, you're studying? I baked brownies for you." she informed me.

I nod. "Thanks mom. I'll be down in a bit."

"It's alright. We can save some for you if you want to continue studying. I shouldn't have bothered you. It's unusual to see you like this." she giggled before closing the door.

Okay does she have to say the last one?

I'm always studying. It's just them who rarely visit me in the room to see what I'm doing.

And for getting bad results, they thought I never study?

This is sick.

‹›‹›‹›

"Hey beloved cousin," I heared a voice greeted my ears. Looking to my side, Chenle gives me his gummy smile.

"When did you arrive?" I boredly ask, still facing my homeworks.

"Just now. My father missed his brother." he told. His brother means my father. I'm half chinese, but my face is nowhere chinese looks. Guess my father's traits don't flow in my blood.

Chenle dropped himself in the bean bag I have beside my table. "I'm sleepy." Of course he is. It's almost 10pm when they arrived. They usually would have a sleepover here since there are like.. two guests room in my house and my parents don't see that as a problem to have fellow family members to stay.

"You can sleep on my bed for awhile." I muttered while solving the math equation in my exercise book.

"Your mom told me you haven't eat the brownies. I thought we could have them together." he pouted a bit.

My face lit up remembering the brownies my mom made this evening. Guess I was too upset towards her words that's why I did not come downstairs since I got home. Closing my book, I pulled Chenle up. "I totally forgot about that. Let's go."

He chuckled as I dragged him to the kitchen. "Your habit of pulling me will never die."

I sheepishly grinned and took out the brownies from under the food covers along with some drinks. Taking all of it, we made our way to the balcony, far from our parents and my brothers downstairs.

"Ah, I missed this." he shouted when the night breeze hit his face. He spread his arms wide like a titanic and closes his eyes.

"So dramatic. Sit down."

"It's unusual for you to miss brownies. Did something happen?" he switched the subject real quick

His question caught me off guard. Being my annoying cousin since birth and the closest one, we've spent so much time together and he knows almost all of my secrets. We practically share our daily life and sometimes we would have deep talks, where he can easily notices my behaviour– even for the slightest thing.

Lying won't stop him from asking.

"The usual, my mom told me it's unusual to see me studying."

His face softened at my answer and before he could say anything I cut him off, "It's fine. I'm used to it."

"We both know you are lying," he said with sadness evident in his tone.

"Then what could I do? Tell her I always study? I'll just get some nags about not scoring in exams in return." I leaned my back on the chair and let out a frustrating groan. "I'm tired of this shit. Why can't I be smart like you?"

Chenle did not say anything at my question. He took another bites of brownies and faced the city view in front of us. Silence took over for awhile before he spoke up again. "Let's try studying here. It'd freshen you up than cramping yourself in your room."

I shot him a questioning look. "You're saying my room is dull?"

"No!" he laughed, shaking his head. "I mean, if you sit here then you'll get the direct fresh air. But your room is actually dull."

I kicked his leg under the table and he whines. "I ban you from entering my room."

"I know where the extra keys are."

"You're creepy."

"Thank you?" he said before chuckling. "Yah but seriously, tomorrow bring your books here and we'll have a study time."

Good. Actually I'm really in the need of someone to help me.

The next day came and Chenle was already at the balcony, stuffing his mouth with some cereal pancakes. I don't know how he made that but he told me he saw them in a post saying it's trending so he tried to do it. It's actually cute, the pancakes are small.

"Want some?" he asked, full mouth.

I shook my head no. "When will you leave?"

"Late evening I guess."

"Cool. I need some advices anyway." I flipped the pages of my science textbook and workbook.

Chenle nodded with his hamster cheeks. "Finish them first. I don't need your spitting milk on my books."

He gave me a disgusted face and finished his cereal in a few minutes. I laid my cheek on my hand while staring off the view. He was right, the surrounding here is way more fresh from my dull room. I didn't think about this earlier.

While we were studying, my mom came.

again.

She smiled seeing us two which Chenle returned with a smile. I pretended to busy myself with the works so I don't have to say anything to her.

"Thanks honey for helping her. She won't do it if you are not here." she told him.

Chenle furrowed his eyebrows and before he could say anything, she's gone.

I bit my lower lips when I felt my hands tremble. Tears were threatening to spill.

He quickly got to my side and rubbed my arms, giving comfort. "Hyemi, it's okay. Don't listen to her."

I looked down to my lap. That's when a teardrop fell and I quickly wiped my tears.

Chenle wrapled his arm around my shoulder and he kept repeating the comfort words to me. I'm so tired of this. Why do they always look me down in front of other people? Am I that useless and dumb that they never see my effort? Do they see me as a robot who can quickly keeps in their mind what they had learn?

I looked up when I feel Chenle wiped my tears on my cheeks using his sleeve. He had this sad expression as our eyes meet engulfing me with a comforting hug.

"Please, just ignore them."

🥀