Acumen: Riddling Life

Explanations (16)

I can't hide my shock and horror as I stare at Adrien with wide eyes.

How can he say that? How can he blame me for something like that!

I open my mouth to say something, anything, but the words stick to my throat.

He shakes his head. "He left the house because of you, he wanted to see you, talk to you!"

Each statement feels like a punch, actually worse than a punch.

I stare at him, still not able to wrap my head around this.

"You didn't know?" he huffs and then shakes his head. "He wanted to ask you to prom..." he says his eyes fixed ahead.

A beat of silence passes and then he fixes his burning gaze on me, "So... would you have said yes?" He asks, brows furrowed.

What the hell!

I open my mouth but still no words form, my head a whirlwind of thoughts. "Prom?" That's all I can manage to crock out.

He narrows his eyes at that, "You had no idea," he says, as if he wasn't expecting it. He leans towards me slightly, not breaking his gaze. "You did know that Jay liked you?" he tries to make it sound like a question but it sounds more like a statement.

What?

"Jace was dating Avery..." I finally say.

I inhale deeply to calm my breathing and continue, "We were just friends... and... friends do like each other... that they tolerate each other... spend time together," my voice trails down with each word.

I shouldn't be saying these things out loud, but it's too huge of a shock for me to be able to process it silently in my head.

I blink a few times, my eyes gaining back their focus.

I realize Adrien is staring at me in disbelief.

"So you would've said no?" A humorless laugh escapes his lips, "You're saying Jay basically died for a rejection... he died for nothing."

I don't understand.

"You avoided him the whole day, he was planning to tell you in school... but you're such a professional avoider it's fascinating sometimes," hate laces his words as he locks his eyes with me, "I kept telling him not to leave, but he didn't listen, he said it's that day or never, and then the truck driver got him killed. He left the house because of you, and I hated you because of it."

His Adam's apple bobs, as he leans back into his chair, his gaze not breaking even for a second, "So Eleanor, I know it sounds crazy but I really want to know, would you have said yes?" He asks.

I look away as I try to gather my thoughts or at least try to navigate through it.

Jaceon, the person who I called my best friend, my only friend, died because he wanted to see me, in one of the worst nights of my life.

He wanted to ask me to prom... I never realized he liked me. He used to date Avery though... but I know I would've said no.

I can actually clearly imagine that night if things were different.

He would've shown up, asked me, and I would've said no. Then he would've convinced me because he knew I can never say an absolute no to him.

It feels like a knife is repeatedly stabbing me.

"You know," his voice draws my attention to him, "He broke up with Avery because of you, I thought you know that," he offers a small smile to me.

I look down to my hands, why am I so stupid?