Nightmares -Saiouma/Oumasai-

-51-

"They must have all been talking about it for some time...and maybe now they have found some information pointing to it belonging to you..." Maki whispered and still didn't make eye contact with me as to not draw any more attention to us.

"Yeah that makes sense..." it just seems so delayed... I thought to myself. I mean they must have always been suspicious about it being mine...seeing as right after me and Shuichi got way close.

"So they must be planning something," She said looking over at the other students coming into the dining hall one after another.

They all say farther away from me. Except for Gonta...he was just sitting in between both of the groups, being the four of us, and the rest of them. He looked really confused and sad about something.

"Yeah I'm sure of it," I looked over at the group with a glare and turned back to Shuichi and Kaito. They had finally sat at the table and were still talking about whatever. I moved over to sit next to Shuichi and Kaito took his spot next to Maki.

"Hey, Kokichi, you ready to go and make some food? Last time me and Maki worked on the food for everyone else. You can help if you want but don't feel like you have to," Shuichi stood up with Maki shortly following after him.

I smiled and let my hand go and grab Shuichi's. "I want to be able to help in any way I can! So I'll come with my beloved~," Shuichi blushed a bit at the action but didn't say anything as we all made our way to the kitchen.

Just as the time before Shuichi was the one doing the cooking while Maki was on prep and getting all the ingredients. We had to make food for 12 students so it wasn't an easy task. Kirumi would always cook before and she was really good at it because she was the ultimate maid...but now...

I shook my head to keep myself from remembering the painful memory of the trial and her execution. I focused back on Shuichi and Maki. Shuichi looked so focused as he cooked I almost felt guilty when he looked over at me for a moment and smiled.

Maki on the other hand was letting a small smile rest on her lips. It was nice seeing her smile again. It makes her look a little more friendly. I know when she became an assassin it didn't make her life easy...I know it can have a really bad mark on your brain when you take the life of another human.

The aura of the room just made me feel at home. Even though we are in a killing game it makes me feel at home seeing two people I care about making a meal together. I feel safe...unlike when I was at home with my actual family.

. . .

"Hey, mom!" I yelled over to my mom who was sitting against the counter while she waited for a soup to warm up she was making. She didn't seem like she was in the mood to talk but I needed to try to tell her something.

"What is it?" Her tone was cold and made me jump a bit.

"U-um, I was wondering if I could tell you about what I learned in health today." I felt my hands start to shake. Why do I even bother...

"What did you learn...I'm here to listen," She still didn't sound like she was into the conversation. It made me want to just walk back up to my room to be alone.

"We learned about mental disorders today...and I think I might have depression," I closed my eyes not wanting to see her face. There was a moment of silence. What is she thinking?

I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at her. She had a small smile on her face. Maybe she believes me and I can-

"Not you don't silly, you're just overthinking this," She then turned her back to me facing the soup. I felt tears come to my eyes. Why didn't she...why...why does she think I'm overreacting? I shouldn't have even bothered...

"Oh, alright, well I'll be working on my homework then," I whispered walking out of the kitchen. I shouldn't have had hope that she was going to listen to me.

I looked down at my long sleeves. I had cut my arms at least three times today. School is never easy...I can barely go a period without adding new cuts. I guess this is my life now...

"Ok, make sure you come down for dinner!" I let some tears fall out of my eyes as I walked up the staircase. My footsteps feel so heavy. My eyes don't want to have to entertain the thought of tears again...but it was too late.

"Why is this..." My sobs cut me off. I couldn't even look up as I slid down my door soon falling to the floor. I covered my mouth knowing I can't let any noise escape...I didn't want people to pity me or worse get mad because I disrupted them.

. . .

"Kokichi, are you doing alright?" Shuichi pulled me back into reality as his hand cupped my cheek. I felt some wet tears coming out of my eyes. Maki was looking at me as well but it wasn't a look of judgement...it was a look of understanding.

"Yeah, sorry Shu," I said trying to keep a smile on my face. Why did that memory come to my mind? Why do I have to remember her now?

"It's ok, what's wrong?" I felt like other people were waiting on him so I kept my mouth shut. Shuichi looked back at Maki for a moment before she nodded. What did-

"Maki is going to take the food out because we just finished...so tell me what you are thinking," I took in a deep breath. He is so considerate of me. I blushed before I looked back up at him.

"It's my family..." I whispered letting more tears fall out of my eyes.

-Some good things must end. My best friend isn't my friend anymore...because some lies I cannot forgive. Anyway, thanks for reading!!-

-ShuichiOuma010-