Nightmares -Saiouma/Oumasai-

-67-

I woke up in the middle of the night. I looked around processing the darkness around me for a moment before my senses slowly came back to me. The room was dark and it only took me a couple of moments to realize that I was in Shuichi's room. His scent engulfed the room and was very apparent because the boy himself was asleep next to me.

I smiled to myself and moved closer to him. I didn't want to fall back asleep but I didn't want to wake him up either. I just let myself take in Shuichi. His warm body, his short blue hair, his closed eyes, and his relaxed features. From the top of his head to his chest and down to his legs. His hair was rustled and messy with sleep. It went in all angles on the white pillow that we shared. It was intertwined with my own as his face was in front of my own. It was midnight blue, it was hard to see it, but I have been seeing it for the duration of the time we have been here and it's branded into my memory. Like a sweet dream that you wish you will be able to have the night after and the night after that. It perfectly shaped his face and made me blush a little as my hand moved to gently stroke his hair.

As my fingers brushed against his hair it traveled down to his cheek. I moved my attention to his face letting my eyes, that were now adjusted to the darkness, take in all of his features. It was still hard to see and that's what my hand helped with. With the use of the my somewhat poor vision because of the dark and the use of the touch I could feel because of my hand I was able to take in his face. His soft skin that covered him, his closed eyes, and his long eyelashes.

I always would tease him about how girly they made him look, but honestly I am jealous of how they look on him...they make his eyes look alluring. Like they could pull me into the golden pools of his eyes making me lost there forever. It made me want to be able to see his eyes, but for the moment I was ok with letting him sleep. This is because when he is asleep I can look at him without him getting all flustered or even defensive in some cases. I love seeing him flustered and all, but sometimes I just want to be able to see him, to look at him as if he was a work of art just for me. There for me to admire and love.

His eyes perfectly fit his personality. The gold in his eyes can be intimidating when he is on his way to discovering the truth, while at the same time they can be soft and caring when he wants to show how he is really feeling. He also shows his flustered state in his eyes, he gets more nervous and it causes his eyes to not want to make contact with anyone elses...and I want to be the only one to see him in this state because then the first eyes that come in contact with his own will be mine and mine alone.

His nose is a perfect fit for his face. It makes his face feel well balanced and it overall is super cute. The way his blush will come across not only his cheeks but even across his nose and I absolutely love this fact. He is such a bold person sometimes and in those small moments I forget about how embarrassed he can get over some small things, such as teasing and such. It makes me adore him even more than I did before--and I didn't even know it was possible that I could find more love that I have for this man.

His lips in the middle of his face, so kissable, and for my lips only. When he kisses me my senses all freeze for a moment as my adoration and devotion to him become real. We are one unit for that moment as our lips collide, letting the rest of the world know that we are one together, and that we aren't going to let each other go. For these small moments I forget about the pain of the truth behind all the lies I have been telling myself...I let myself forget about the things that are bothering me in my mind for the moment we share together. We aren't literally becoming one with each other or anything like that, but in a way I feel like my soul is bound to his when we are touching or kissing each other. It makes me feel like I am more than just myself, that I have more to myself than I had before.

That's how I see being with him, being connected to him in ways I would have never thought of before. Being a part of who he is and who he is going to become, while at the same time we both are living our own lives, but being together we are able to share the joy and pain from the experiences life brings to us. We are in this together and being able to connect in these ways only makes it more apparent to the both of us. Because in the end it's us together, because that's what we both agreed to be--through anything that comes our way. That's just how it works, we have already made it through so much together and that just makes it feel like I'm not just being used by him. I feel like we are both giving and taking in this relationship--making it feel more passionate and more loving than any relationship I have been in before.