Serving the Commander

I'll wait for an eternity

*Kylo's view*

Watching as she runs away the sting of rejection ripping at your heart 'this is why you don't allow yourself to get close to anyone, love is for the weak.' Returning inside the room heart aching and muscles sore from training the only thing you want to do is take a long hot bath, clear your mind. Walking inside the bathroom the intense eucalyptus smell hitting your senses you haven't smelled the intoxicating aroma since before you left months ago, before meeting her this smell wouldn't have even registered any emotion but now it floods your mind with memories. Standing above the tub the steam rising against your face closing your eyes inhaling deeply 'I must figure out a way to win her back.... that James... I can sense his intentions the moment I saw them together this morning I know she is only a trophy to him. A game he wants to win, you are so much more than that to me (y/n) I won't let him hurt you further, I'll do whatever it takes.'

Soaking in the tub until the water turns chilly, leaving the bathroom drying off something catches your eye by the door. Bending over picking up the small leather-bound journal recognizing it immediately as one of your own confused having not been to the writing room in over a year as far as you knew it was totally abandoned. Opening the book, reading page after page before finally putting the pieces together somehow she found the room, and this is her writing 'does that mean she read my journals? Does she know my dark past?' Towards the middle of the journal starting to notice each entry is a personal note to you, she wrote every day for an entire month expressing her feelings for you or just writing about the boring activities she's done. Reading her words only hurts more, the thought of her thinking you abandoned her is too much one page reads *Kylo, my dearest Kylo where are you? A day without you in my eye is a day wasted gone by, drawn out days turn sleepless nights the only thing that soothes me is the thought of your return. Won't you come back to me?* continuing further into the long hours of the night towards the more recent entry's starting to notice your name less and less only to be replaced by James the most recent entry describing the night you returned in this place she calls the glass room 'I know of that room it was a place I had planned to take you (y/n) I was in the process of fixing it up for you if only you had waited.' Her story goes into detail of him ripping her clothes, the way she writes gives the impression that she didn't want it and his actions were showing that he didn't care 'was he going to force you?'

Rage boiling within, shutting the journal clinching your fist the sensation to destroy the room again is overwhelming, deciding instead to get dressed and take a walk, clear your mind. Wandering the halls, finding yourself walking towards the old familiar writing room door 'I haven't written in forever but maybe it will give me some peace like it once did.' Once inside taken aback by the changes, everything is spotless and organized lamps have been added along with strings of lights flowing across the ceiling. Eyes still looking around the room before noticing on one of the couches a small cloth clump, walking close towards it realizing it's her balled up covered in one of your cloaks 'whenever did she take that?' Thinking while staring at her, the small frame engulfed by the black fabric her face resting peacefully against the hood with her hands pressed tightly against her chest.

Noticing one of the hands now tightly wrapped with white gauze clutching the ripped makeshift bandage you applied earlier, her face stained with long lines of black makeup 'had she been crying?' Kneeling next to her hand reaching up brushing the hair from her face, sitting across from her pulling her journal from your pocket grabbing a nearby pen picking a random spot a few pages from her last entry beginning to write. *I never left you even when I was gone my heart was with you. Your beauty far more powerful than anything I have ever seen, a word I never thought I would say again claws at my lips digging to escape every time I am near you. I will leave you alone if that is what you want your happiness means more to me than my own, but if you ever find yourself lost you can always return to me, I will always been watching out for you. I've waited forever to find you, I can wait for an eternity if needed.* sliding the book back onto the shelf in the empty slot before gently leaning down kissing her softly on the forehead, picking her up in your arms careful not to wake her walking with her back to her own quarters.

Opening her door slowly pulling back her covers with the force laying her down softly still wrapped in your cloak covering her up, slowly tugging to remove it, watching as her fingers grip tightly to it pulling it from your hand she turns on her side cuddling it against her. Sighing pulling the blankets up around her tucking her in pressing the covers under her figure until satisfied reluctantly leaving, the door shutting behind you only to be met with the figure of James walking down the hall.

His face shocked to see you leaving her room thinking quickly you say, "she cut her hand while preparing my room I wanted to make sure she arrived safely back in her quarters." His facial expression confused as he replies, "okay commander Ren thank you for helping her I'm sure she appreciates it I know I do, after all don't want my girlfriend to be hurt." The words leaving his mouth, his voice echoing inside your brain 'girlfriend' "you are aware of the no public displays of affection within the first order are you not?" He stares at you blankly before stuttering "ye... yes sir... I'm not quite sure what you are talking abo..." cutting him off marching off towards your room for fear if staying any longer, he wouldn't be alive anymore for her to have a boyfriend. 'You must let her be happy, if it's meant to be she will return to you if it's not let her go.' the long walk back has your mind wondering why was he out so late where had he been?