𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟭𝟴 - 𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 ⍟

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"I still love her and she's helped me all through my life. Through thick and thin, I really adore her and the fact that she can even put up with my bullshit."

I know eavesdropping is bad, but after I had gone to calm myself from seeing Tony like this again, calm and witty like he used to be with me, and to get rid of the jacket and therefore getting rid of suspicion I heard that Bruce asked about Tony's relationship to Pepper.

So they are together? Why did my stomach twist after hearing that?

"And then I got on to date my friend Stephen Strange for a while, but we've lost contact over the last couple of years. He was a gem, fun to be around and always gave me a run for my money." Tony continued, and I could hear the smile on his face as well as imagine it.

I didn't know that he was into guys...I wonder when this was, he says he's lost contact with..Stephen Strange so it must've been a while back. But still. So he likes both men and women.

Still no better for me, he doesn't seem to feel a damn thing about me. And he definitely doesn't see me like I see him, like I'm the light of his life. He kind of is to me, but he's also slightly ruining it 'cause now when he's back in my life, more or less, I can't stop dreaming about him at night and the war and the battle of New York and how he flew into that wormhole.

I thought I would lose him to it. Lose him in space and who knows how far away those Chitauri were when Loki opened the portal, I don't know what I would've done if I lost him like that.

And then he had said: "Please tell me nobody kissed me." I didn't respond because I was too busy thinking about it and beaming with joy and relief once he had woken up.

I've never really been in love with anyone before but I've found many people attractive, I can't say I wasn't crushing a bit on Bucky for a while, so I'm used to thinking about it constantly and moping over my fear of rejection I guess.

But I've never had actual 'physical' things happen to me, physical like the weird waves of aches I got every time Tony and I touched or the fluttering feeling when we smiled at each other or when I stared without him knowing.

I think I fell in love with Tony that night when he tampered with my hands, held them softly and studied them while I studied him. I remember it so vividly that I can see him in front of me now, young and..my friend.

And I hid my feelings for so long and when I finally got the guts and courage to tell him I lost my chance, maybe things would've been different. It makes me wish that I hadn't gone on that mission and also wonder what would've happened between us if I hadn't.

"You dated the neurosurgeon Stephen Strange? He's like the best in his field." Bruce got on to ask, Tony nodded.

I pursed my lips and exhaled deeply through my nose before letting my shoulders sink, I wasn't that hungry anyway. I took the elevator down to the next floor, where the private quarters were located. I walked to my own room and sat down on the bed.

The longer I was sat there the colder it got and the more blankets I had to wrap myself in, Jarvis alerted me that the others were asking about me. If I wanted the pizza I was going to share with Clint 'cause we wanted the same one.

"I'm not that hungry anymore, thank you, Jarvis." I responded.

"Of course, Captain Rogers."

So instead of socializing with my teammates, and now my roommates, I was stuck in my room. Freezing my ass off, drawing until my fingers hurt and ignoring my rumbling stomach.

I drew a copy of my room, I drew the tower and the portal Loki opened, I drew Natasha, Clint, Bruce and Tony and as my mind began to wander I drew Tony and I. Together. Once I was done I scoffed and quickly ripped the page away from the sketchbook and crumpled it up and threw it into the trash bin in the private bathroom.

Time was wandering to 2 AM, and I no longer needed the blankets. I had gotten bored of drawing and I got no inspiration, and I wanted to stop thinking. Period. I wanted to stop thinking about everything, I just want silence like when you're asleep.

I was just going to put on some new clothes to sleep in when my door was knocked on, I struggled on a dark blue tank top and opened the door. Just to be faced with the shortest and only female avenger.

"Hi." She greeted softly.

"Hi," I responded. "Are you gonna lecture me about not eating dinner?" She shrugged, nodding towards the bed as if asking to sit down. I scooted over a bit and she sat down.

"You do need to eat, but it's not what I came here to talk to you about."
I raised my eyebrows as I was bracing myself to hear something terrible, what it is I have no idea.

"I always keep a close eye on everyone, it's a habit. That includes you, and I saw how you looked at Tony and heard the way you spoke to him when he told us he was going into that wormhole," she explained, I sighed deeply and looked down at my feet instead.

"Have you met Tony before? And if you have...what was your relationship to him?"

She must've figured out that I felt something for Tony, that he means a lot to me. She's clearly very perceptive, but like she said: she has to. It's part of being a spy. I have no reason to lie to her, she's earned my trust and she's nice to me.

"I...I met him in New York, at the Stark expo—" I began but she cut me off.

"In 2028? I didn't think you were thawed? You weren't even found."

"It wasn't 2028. It was in 1943."
Her eyebrows knitted together and she pulled her head slightly backwards, to show she was confused. Rightfully so, I was confused when I found out Tony WASN'T from my time.

"He seemed to have traveled back in time and we met there, he saw me turn into Captain America and he became a good and valued friend of mine. But it was always very rocky, I always did something wrong I guess...and then I went under the ice and saw him here."

"So...was he always a friend?"

"Y...yeah. He helped me after I lost Bucky, despite the fact I had left him all alone with the other soldiers that hated him."
She nodded, placing a light hand on my shoulder.

"You should rest. And if you don't eat breakfast tomorrow I'll lecture you, you bet your ass." She said as she stood up and walked to the door, I smiled at her. Nodding, to thank her for being understanding. And that she even wanted to visit me at 2 am.

"You got it. Goodnight, Natasha."

"Goodnight, Steve."

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