𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟰𝟮 - 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴... ⎊

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I'm... conflicted. To say the least. Something in me has forgiven Steve, or at least decided that it's not worth sulking over for the rest of my life and for the rest of his. Another part of me is saying to keep him waiting, and that he deserved it like that. Slow and painful and suspenseful.

But what kind of example would I set for my daughter if she saw me act all nasty and bitter about the past? If I can't come to terms with myself then I hoped I could find a middle ground at least. A compromise. Scott, Natasha and Steve left a few hours ago after they asked for my help on creating something to control the chaos of the quantum realm.

I couldn't risk losing what I got for something I had. I know it's selfish of me, but caring so much has made me lose too much. And that is something I'm certainly tired of.

I was on dish-duty and there are still things that normal human beings know how to do that I don't handle well. Like operating a hose. I ended up spraying water everywhere because I didn't remember how to turn it off.

Sometimes I hate the simple life. But, the good outweighs the bad. For the most part. When I'm in the more boring aspects of normal life I reminisce back to my old avengers days where there was excitement and thrill every day, when I was doing good with Steve...

There was water everywhere because I can't operate a simple water hose, so I needed to dry off some things on the shelves nearby. There was a picture of my dad among the other gizmos, and further in stood a framed picture of Peter Parker and I. I reached out to grab it, my hand trembling ever so slightly but enough for me to worry that I'd drop the picture.

I dried it off with my towel and my heart ached. It felt like something was squeezing it. It didn't hurt, I just felt there was something tugging at my heartstrings and the sentiment in me. And a deep, disturbing feeling of loss and guilt. There was something about the fact that he was smiling so brightly in the picture that made me... teary eyed. He was gone, and he was just a kid. Lord knows where he could've gone if he hadn't actually died, just been put somewhere.

I couldn't let Peter die. I couldn't allow myself to leave him like that. He had been alone all his life and I had the privilege to be his mentor and possibly even a father figure.

I gotta do something... maybe I'll just... see if it works. See how this all pans out and... if it works then it works. I need to know if it's possible to bring him home again. I thought while I made my way over to my—more or less—work station, where I could still work on things.

"I've got a mild inspiration, I'd like to see if it checks out." I announced to Friday as I started up the table with virtual screens and holograms. "So, I'd like to see one last sim before we pack it in for tonight." I proceed to inform her.

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