Graduated Time [ 00.00 ] - StevexTony AU

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟮𝟵 - 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝘆𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰 ⍟

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"I thought you said to give him time?" I questioned Natasha, recalling to that day when she told me that all Tony needed was some MORE time.

"All you give him is time, it's time you do what YOU wanna do." She then told me.

That...didn't really make this easier...it's gonna be hard to talk to Tony about this, he still hasn't been really open about his past with me. We've been together for a while now and he's barely told me anything about what has happened while I was in and after he travelled back to 2008.

From what I can tell he's very regretful and guilt-tripped for it, he feels like it's something he won't ever be able to let go of. Which is probably a factor to why he doesn't want to tell anyone but the team about our relationships.

From what Vision told me, Tony's in his lab...looking for Bruce. He'd gone missing on the day we defeated Ultron, it hit everyone. Especially Natasha. Tony is trying to track him every day, he can't seem to win over his own stealth tech. It really crushed him, so maybe this isn't a great time to try and talk to him...but I..I don't know. I should just drop it, we're two in this relationship. Not only my opinion matters, and Tony's got his own shit to deal with.

Would you look at that, he makes me swear too. He's a good bad influence.

I really shouldn't plague him with more stuff, Bruce is gone and after Sokovia things are tense with all of us. Not internally, not in the team itself, but with the government. And not only the American one but other places we've operated in.

But I can't wait anymore. I really want to ask him about it, Natasha told me I should and she said that Clint agreed. At least...try and if it becomes too much just..just drop it and let time do its thing.

While my stomach was churning inside me—correction: all my insides were twisting, I made my way to see Tony. With every echoing step I took I felt my legs slowly trudge behind me in a weird way, like they were delayed from the rest of my body and turning into a mess of star-spangled jelly.

Should I really feel this bad about talking to my boyfriend of almost a year? Is there something I'm doing wrong? Technically this is my first relationship so it's kind of hard for me to know, but still. And I always feel particularly unwelcome in Tony's lab, I was not sure why this was a thing for me either. Tony has never explicitly told me that I can't be in there, not yet but maybe after today. God, I really hope he wants to talk about this with me. I just want a reason, maybe we don't even have to tell the public but I just want a reason and to know why.