Star Wars: Imagines/One-Shots

{Finn} The Girl He Left Behind Pt. 3

     When Finn finally comes to, he feels more relaxed than he's felt in a while. He doesn't have to question where he is, he already knows. I'm home. As he glances around the white-washed room, the realization sinks in, I'm home. Frantically, he sits upright on a cot and notices the restraints in his arms and legs, holding him to the medical cot. Trying not to panic, he tries to recall what happened. I..I can't remember. All I remember is...
"FN-2187, is it really you?" Finn looks up to where the door has opened to reveal you, standing in front of him with your helmet and gear still on. He doesn't reply. Instead, he just looks down at his sheets, unable to hide his shame. "We were told you were dead, that you didn't survive your little stunt you pulled in Jakku. I wanted to believe it, but when the Rebels attacked Starkiller base, reports said it had been you who disabled our shields and let them destroy our home." You said softly, but as you think back to that day, your tone changes, "How could betray the only life you ever knew, the only family you'd ever had? How could you leave without even giving it a second thought?"
     Finn looks up, "Because the First Order is not this big happy family of stormtroopers, pilots, and officers like you've been trained to think. It's a corrupt faction bent on destroying the free will of the galaxy's people. This is war. I thought you of all people would understand that."
     His words sting. You know just as well as anyone that this is war, that the children you see come through this academy everyday are another piece in the First Order's game, but you tend to try and find the good, because despite what some say, there is some good in the Order's rule. "I do. I understand wanting to leave, but I'd never betray the oaths I gave. My allegiance is final. 'Until victory, or death.'" You quote the last part of the oath every stormtrooper recites at graduation from this very academy.
Finn shakes his head, "We didn't have a choice. Our choice was made for us, that path means nothing—"
"To you. It means nothing to you. I can tell. FN-2187, I made my choice that day when I took that same oath that you did. It means something to me." You take off your helmet to show him your that you mean your next words, "I'd rather die, than make the same choice you did, traitor."
Finn frowns, "My name is Finn."
You storm out of the room, unable to look at him any longer. He really is gone. He's one of them now. You pull out your data pad and begin to send a message to Phasma about FN—Finn's return, but you can't. You know the protocol for treason, and it isn't a painless experience. As your finger hovers over the send  button, you hear Finn's voice through the door.
     "Great job Finn, not only have you failed your mission, but you've failed (Y/I)-2186 too. She's gone and I missed my last chance to let her know." Let me know what?
     You know that you should walk away and report him, but before you know it, you've already walked back into the medical room and asked the burning question, "Let me know what?"
     Finn's eyes open wide as you return to his room. She came back. You repeat your question more firmly, "Let me know what?"
     Finn sighs and replies, "Do you remember what I told you after graduation?"
     You nod, "You said, 'I'll see you again, next time the stars align.'"
     He chuckles, "After that."
     You have to think for a moment before you remember, "'But until then, you'll always be on my mind.' What does that have to do with anything?"
     "Captain, it was my way of telling you that despite it being discouraged to develop feelings for another trooper, I did. For you." He confesses.
     You don't notice the sound of the data pad falling out of your hand. In that moment, you only have one thought, Oh no.
It isn't forbidden for troopers to pursue relationships, however, after spending your whole life training to be well... expendable, most choose to refrain from it in fear of becoming too attached. It's happened far too many times for your fellow stormtroopers. They fall for each other and have a blossoming relationship...until the partner dies in combat, which is highly likely, given the job. You never allowed yourself to harbor such feelings, but if you had, there would've only been on trooper to catch your eye, and he's sitting right in front of you.
     You are speechless as you try to find a way to rationalize his statement. Maybe this is a trap to catch me off-guard, or an attempt to get me to talk. No, he'll get nothing from me. Although I... I fell for FN-2187, this man isn't him. He's Finn, the traitor. I can't let him get under my skin.
     Taking a deep breath, you respond, "I'm sorry," and slowly start to leave once again.
     "Wait!" Finn calls out. You stop but don't turn around, afraid of him seeing the tear that is now running down your cheek. "Even if you don't feel the same, you should know that I—I never wanted to leave you." You visibly stiffen at his words. "I was going to ask you to come with me, but I never got the chance. It all happened so fast that I had to choose—,"
     You whip around and cut him off, "And you chose to save your own skin."
     "You didn't let me finish." He softens his voice as her notices the single tear running down your face, "If I had to do it all over again, I would have chosen you."
     You can't meet his gaze. You know he's being truthful, but you still haven't forgiven him for leaving you. You can still feel the bitterness deep within you. Which is why you can't believe what you do next. You walk over to his cot, undo the restraints, and press your lips to his forehead. "I can't go with you, neither can I help you, but I won't turn you in if you promise to be careful." Finn's eyes are wide with shock. "This war will be over one day, I know it. If we both make it out, maybe there's a different life for the both of us, but for now, we are on two sides of the same war." You give him a small smile, "I'll see you the next time the stars align."
     You can see his eyes start to water as he finishes, "But until then, you'll always be on my mind."
     With one last glance, you put on your helmet and walk out of the room, "Goodbye, Finn."
Finn watches as you leave and scrambles to his feet. As he's about to take off, he notices the data pad you left behind. He picks it up to see all your notes on Project Rebirth and grins to himself. Looks like I might not completely fail this mission after all.

•••

"Where's the Captain?" General Organa asks Finn as he gives his report.
Poe, who is standing next to the general, raises an eyebrow at Finn. "Well?"
Finn sighs, "She reported my presence to a higher official and I barely escaped with this." He holds up the data pad, "This is a copy of her notes on Project Rebirth."
The general sighs, "Alright. I suppose this will have to do. Is there anything else I need to know?" She gives Finn a knowing look.
He doesn't falter, "No ma'am."
With a nod, Leia leaves the room. Poe, still isn't convinced, "So, wanna tell me how you miraculously ended up with her data pad? I know officers keep them on them at all times and they have secure passwords that are rumored to be uncrackable. So spill it."
Finn just shrugs, "I have a friend on the inside."

A/N I totally forgot I hadn't finished this imagine and the Luke one for CoraEx. I'm so sorry it's taken me this long, but I'm going to start working on getting my request list finished off. Thank you guys for being patient. Things are a little rough right now, and writing has become something I can only do whenever I get the chance, which hasn't been frequent enough. I love you all 💕 and stay safe out there!
May the Force be with you!
-Sarah