Tumalim ang tingin ko sa sinabi niya.
"You also believe His existence?"
"Yeah. Just like how I believe that He created someone as beautiful and wonderful like you."
Heto na naman siya sa mabulaklak niyang dila. Sarap putulin at itanim sa garden. Idinamay pa si God. Sometimes, I do believe that God exists. But most of the time, I believe He doesn't.
Since I was a kid, I never felt like He listened to my prayers. Because if He do, binalikan at kinuha sana ako ng nanay ko sa boarding house na ito. Nakabalik sana si Joya nang buhay.
But all of those prayers remained unanswered. So, what's the point of asking Him something he could not even give? What's the point of believing He's there when I can't even feel His presence? When all I can hear is His silence in between my tears and grievance?
Nasaan siya noong umiiyak ako at hinahanap si Mama? Nasaan siya noong umiiyak ako at hinahanap si Joya? I lost any faith that is left in me. Wala nang natira pa.
Hindi na lang ako kumibo at nagpatuloy sa pagkain. Nang matapos kami, ako na ang nag-ayos at naghugas. At least that way I am able to express my gratitude. Hindi naman ako gaya ng iba na "eat and run" na lang.
"Anong oras darating 'yong kaibigan mo?" Muli niyang tanong.
"Around 9."
"9 na."
"Baka malapit na 'yon."
Malapit labasan. Napa-facepalm ako sa isip nang halos marinig ko ang boses ni Dionne from my mind. Hindi sila magandang ehemplo sa kagaya kong nilalang. Tsk.
We were already in the living room, sitting on the sofa while waiting for Ivana. Pero wala pa din siya. Anong sabi ng quickie niya? 10 minutes pala ha. She's 20 minutes late.
Napailing na lang ako. Ano 'yon? Extended? Napailing ako for the second time sa itinatakbo ng isip ko. Ivana is not really good for my thoughts and imagination.
I decided to play ML while waiting for her to arrive. It's been a long time since the last time I had a rank game. May load eh. Courtesy of Cleofe.
"Naglalaro ka din?" Tanong ko nang mapansing hawak -hawak din ni Paco ang cellphone niya at ino-open ang app ng mobile game. Nakaupo lang siya sa tabi ko at nagtira lang ng kaunting espasyo sa pagitan namin.
"Tara! RG?" Yaya niya. Medyo nagulat pa siya nang pumayag ako agad.
"What?" Tanong ko nang tila napatigil siya at mesmerized na nakatingin sa akin.
"Dito ka pala hindi tumatanggi. Kung alam ko lang..." nangingiting saad niya na hindi ko ma-gets.
"Magaling ka ba?"
"Saan?"
"Sa laro siyempre, sa'n pa ba?"
"Magaling kasi ako sa maraming aspect."
YOU ARE READING
Unbinding Ties of Sloth
General FictionMETANOIA SERIES 2 [COMPLETED] "No. It's the other way around. Because when God made you, He must have been thinking about me." -Ladyma I am Lady Marionette Romero, as sinful as a sloth. But He unbinds me from the ties of the enemy. DATE STARTED: Jun...
