𝚇𝚅𝙸𝙸

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Aria's P

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Aria's P.o.v:

          I peered through the trees as I walked deeper into the forest. I sometimes like to isolate myself completely from the social human world. And that's exactly what I was aiming for now. Don't get me wrong. Spending time with a group of people is something that I haven't done in ages and going through all of this confusing madness with Denise and Vale is... acceptable. And I also like to be treated like a lady, wear fancy dresses and take long, midnight walks in the garden. But I am used to being more distant. Mostly because of my workplace, which is by nature a lonely and secluded environment, I feel the urge to roll my eyes and wish to be somewhere else but in the center of attention. Which is weird. Because my entire life, I have longed for everyone's attention. Be it my parents, my teachers, my ex boyfriends, Vale or Denise, I never stop throwing fits about not being taken into consideration. I know it's unhealthy and many people told me to try and be less obnoxious, but it's in my nature. It's like a disease. Throughout school years I learned that maybe staying in the shadows might be for the better. Letting go of the desire to jump to the conclusion that nobody loves me would have been beneficial too. But yeah... I still do that. The girls are helping, but not at all. They both have their problems and I usually tend to lock my thoughts inside myself because I know that no matter how I put it, my opinion hurts people. It makes them drift away from me.
          It happened again. I needed to isolate myself in a place where nobody could disturb me. It's almost like a routine. Back at home, I usually play video games until morning, concentrating only on killing my opponents. Channeling my fear and transforming it into a deadly weapon, crushing the emotions disguised as enemies under my powerful fists. I didn't have this option here. So I went to the library and chose the most brutal book title I laid my eyes on. Something about blood and crushed bones. It should do the trick.
          I continued walking, admiring the beautiful forest that seemed like it had every detail painted carefully. The bushes were colorful, purple, pink, dark blue and light yellow making the whole space look like a Fairytale realm. And it was, in fact, a Fairytale realm. I was sure that I've been walking for at least 10 minutes and when I spotted a lake which glimmered in the sunlight, sprinkled with tall, green reed here and there and pink water lilies floating on the calm water I knew that was the perfect place. The trees disappeared at one point, making space for soft green grass to grow near the clear water. Despite the missing oak and birch trees around the lake, there was a tall willow tree which had enchantingly bright green colored foliage. It was situated near the water, looking as if Mother Nature loved how it matched with the serene place and let it grow, seemingly taking good care of it. Its thick trunk was covered in Moss and a gnarled root which was coming out over the ground looked exactly like a chair, the seat back of the natural wooden 'chair' extending in a mighty tree.
          I almost ran towards the small oasis and threw my body onto the, what seemed like, soft Moss, but I had to make sure that it wasn't somebody else's property. I walked around the tree and while I didn't see any sign, I shrugged and sat on the chair-like root. I smiled for myself as I thought about how I could stay there until the next morning and opened the book.
          An hour passed, maybe two and I closed the book as I yawned, a leaf serving as a bookmark at page 244. My vision became blurry at some point and my eyes started tearing up, but it's something normal for me since I didn't bring my glasses and I didn't bother to search for any around the mansion. I placed the book on the thick root and got up, cracking my back. A relieved moan escaped my mouth as I smiled. This was a great way to forget about my problems. I wish I had a tree like this one in Seoul too. I wish I lived near a forest like this in Seoul. I've always wanted to move to the countryside, but given our full-time jobs, neither of us can afford the luxury to live an organic life. We already have a hierarchy of aspects containing stress, rush, anxiety, sleepless nights and half-eaten chinese food boxes, all gathering up and forming what we call a modern life.

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