Ludic Selcouth #1: Cracked Beat

Hit #36

Nag-gala nga kami ni Lucien maghapon. Naisipan lang naming umuwi nang mag alas singko na. We had an early dinner so we can rest for the rest of the night.

Itʼs already 7 pm and Iʼm just stuck here inside my hotel room. Ginawa ko lang ang ibang reports at memos na importante at nag-email sa ibang engineers na ka-team ko sa resort project. Nang isara ko na ang laptop at mahiga sa kama ay nagsimula na akong ma-bore. I donʼt feel sleepy yet.

What to do?

Itʼs still very early. Katukin ko kaya si Lucien tas kulitin ko? Nah, heʼs probably tired. Kawawa naman.

I sighed heavily. Bumangon ako at napagpasiyahang bumaba muna para maglakad-lakad. I always do this, kapag wala na akong maisip na gawin ay maglalakad-lakad lang ako para ma-refresh na rin ang utak ko. Nagsuot ako ng black hoodie at naka skort lang. Pumasok ako sa elevator at pinindot ang ground floor. Tahimik dahil ako lang ang nasa loob nito. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang ma-paranoid at maisip ang mga ganitong sitwasyon sa horror movies. What if bigla na lang lumabas si sadako rito?

Ipinilig ko ang ulo at tumawa. Iʼm so stupid. Talagang naiisip ko pa iyon sa ganitong oras?

Pagkalabas ko ng hotel ay maingay pa rin ang syudad. Itʼs just 7 pm after all. Hindi ko naman alam kung saan ako pupunta. Iʼll just walk, bahala na ang paa ko kung saan ako dadalhin. I willjust try to remember the way so I wonʼt get lost. I sucks at directions.

Napadaan ako sa smoking area ng hotel at halos mapatigil nang may matanaw akong pamilyar na bulto. Binilisan ko ang paglakad pero mukhang nakita niya ako at agad na tinapon ang sigarilyo kahit na parang kakasindi lang noon.

I gasped when he snatched my left arm. “Where are you going? Gabi na,” aniya sa seryosong boses. Napanguso naman ako at pinakalma ang pusong nagwawala na naman.

“Iʼll just take a walk,” simple kong sagot at binawi ang braso. Kumunot ang noo niya at pinagmasdan ako. “Youʼre not familiar with the places here. Go back to your hotel room.” I can manage!

“Hindi naman ako lalayo at tatandaan ko ang dinaraanan.” at saka ano naman ba?!

“No. Youʼre not good at remembering direction.” hindi ko alam kung maiiyak ako o maiinis dahil sa sinabi niya. So he can still remember some small things about me...

“People change,” ani ko at nag-iwas ng tingin. Lie! I still sucks at direction.

“Yeah but you didnʼt change,” I didn't?

“Iʼll be fine, Engineer Mortell.” seryoso niya akong minataan at marahas na napabuntong-hininga.

“Tell me where you want to go, Iʼll accompany you.” my eyes widen. Mas lalo pang kumalabog ang puso ko. Why? Is he somewhat concerned? But he shouldnʼt care anymore...

“I donʼt have a specific place to go, Iʼm just really planning to take a quick walk.” he bit his lips and nodded.

“Letʼs take a walk then.” heʼs really coming with me?!

“Seriously, Engineer, I can manage. You should just rest inside and you definitely donʼt have to come with me. Iʼll be okay.” his face suddenly became void of emotion. Malamig niya akong tiningnan. “You donʼt really want me to be with you, huh.” I blinked. Itʼs not that! I just want him to rest and... he should be mad! Bakit ba kasi ganito siya?!

“Thatʼs not what I meant, Engineer. Iniisip ko lang naman na baka pagod ka kaya magpahinga ka na lang,” kalmado kong pagpapaliwanag.

Tumamlay ang mata niya at pagak na natawa. “I was never tired when it comes to you, Zemira,” he whispered. Hindi ako nakagalaw. I suddenly canʼt find the right words to say. What...does that even mean?