Chapter 12

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Have you ever got lost in crowd from your mother? The feeling is the worst kind. Your eyes search everywhere for a glimpse, your heart racing by the thought of getting lost, not able to see the person you're looking for again.

If the feeling is worse, Jungkook can't express how he felt when he not found Taehyung in his class, not around the campus. The thought of the same face to disappear again from his life was enough for his inside to burst.

He looked around desperately till he found the boy casually walking by the hallways. He had made himself promise to not get affected by him, that it's not his Tae, but he can't help his heart when the boy presence is close.

The fear and sadness he felt, bruising his insides, millions thoughts have ran in his mind of if something had happened to the other. He had experienced it. So like always in Jungkook's case, the fear got converted to anger.

And on that, when he heard that the boy was just chilling out with some other guy, who he had warned not to talk with, while here Jungkook was feeling like he will die any moment. It was heartbreaking. Jungkook didn't cared what the other was feeling, or if he himself was doing again the thing he regretted the other day.

He just wanted to feel the other, nothing but to make sure the boy is safe, that he has not left him.

The kiss was more aggressive than the last time, as the first one is was a impulsive reaction by the sudden closeness of the face he had used to see the first thing in the morning.

But this was more of anger, desperation. Jungkook was so lost in this, the voices in his mind stopped, the solence he found in kissing the other was like his open wounds were suddenly healed.

Because of that he didn't even care how's the other lips are more softer than his Tae, how his body is small, but curvy then his Tae. Like he don't smell like vannila but of peaches. Jungkook senses were just blocked, lips devouring hungrily on the other. Not nothing how inexperienced the other is.

And just like that when the boy, to Jungkook's worst nightmare, started kissing back, his hands clutching Jungkook's shirt's collar. Pulling Jungkook impossibly close, the other tried matching his pace.

Jungkook in the moment completely lost it, the pull, the lust he had tried suppressing the moment he saw the boy, suddenly hitting him hard. He groaned, not being with a human's touch in three years, and suddenly this was like electricity passed through his body.

He tilted his head, deepinly the kiss more, and roamed his hands till the took hold of the other's ass, which was the biggest mistake, as the boy instantly moaned by the touch.

Like a thunder stiked, the voices in Jungkook head came back, but they were not what he gets when he see the boy....

Kookie I'm sleepy!

Kookie let's eat there....

Wow Kookie you look hot.

Ah~ Kook-ah...

Jungkook roughly pulled away from the kiss, eyes wide, panting. The other was looking at him with uneven breath, hooded glossy eyes, lips swollen.

It's like a heavy rain drawn upon Jungkook, realising him what wrong he is doing . This is not his Tae. He is someone else. No this can't be happening. He lost it. Lost it fucking again.

Jungkook backed away, frightened steps, staring shocked at the other. Who was looking at him with confusion and hurt, his chest breathing up and down, he looked completely messed.

Jungkook looked at him again, his hands going to his hairs, pulling them, cursing.
"No no no no" He mumbled to himself, frame suddenly shaking.

"No. DON'T PLAY WITH MY MIND." He shouted at the boy, angry tears leaving his eyes.

Taehyung looked at other shocked, he don't know what's happening. He was hurt now. Very very hurt.

"Please don't. PLEASE." Jungkook shouted, eyes staring at nothing, he wiped his lips harshly and without looking at the other, walked fast out of the room.

Leaving a hurt and completely lost Taehyung alone.

~▪~▪~▪~▪~▪~

Jungkook walked till he reached his car, hands opening the door shakingly, he got in and closed the door, locking it.

His mind was still processing the boy's response. Jungkook know he should have not kissed him again, how can he repeat the same mistake.

He know he just transforms into a different person when the other is around, when someone is close to the other, breathing the same air as him. He can't help but think him as his Tae. His love.

The boy's deep moan had bought him back to his senses, he don't know what he have done if not. He hit the steering wheel hard, eyes angry, sweating. Why can't he be normal??? Why the boy got ti his head?? Why...Why Tae left him??

He closed his eyes, and rested his head  back on the seat, a single tear leaving his eyes, while he himself didn't notice how a single tear got converted to many more tears. But less then the pain in his heart.

While on the other side Taehyung was sitting in the corner of the room, on the floor, knees brought to his chest, hands secured around them.

He keep thinking back how Mr. Jeon pulled harshly away from the kiss, like his touch burned him. The look of fear and anger made Taehyung to regret on why he kissed back.

He should have pushed the other, not kissed like they are lovers. He is his fucking tecaher, Taehyung don't love him then why, is he this desperate for love!! And the other may even now didn't want it. It was clear he regretted it.

Taehyung looked hurt at his hands, how could he do the silly mistake of kissing a man who was forcing him, and the next ran away like a coward.

Taehyung never felt so worthless in his life,
"Stupid stupid stupid" He mumbled to himself, slowly tears tears leaving in eyes. Sitting there on the same the floor, same room where the person who caused him misery, had cried just like him.

Taehyung don't want to be here anymore. He don't want to face anyone. He want to go home, cry in his mother's embrace.

He bought his knees more close to his chest, crying his heart out there.
Not aware that the other was in the same condition outside.

Both of their lives tangled in a twisted game, hurting them the deepest, and it was neither of their fault.

~☆~

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