Regrets That Were Once Made

Chapter 22 ~ Confronting

4th of June 1795

~Frederick's pov~

Standing on the edge of the ship, the view of home was was in sight. The air, the sky and sea was just as I had left it. Everything felt so familiar yet so different seeing my home again.

The trip back wasn't as bad as I expected, for some reason the feeling of a ship rocking soothed me even if I had only ever been on a ship once before now. In fact, sometimes I would have strange dreams, they would be of me, my mother and sister all huddled together in the deck of a small ship. It felt almost peaceful to have these dreams and they gave me solace and hope in times of despair.

Maybe that was why, for the last few days, I had been having dreams about the ship again. It was weird and uncanny especially for the absence of my father in these dreams. Of course, Charles wasn't there, but he was only born when I was 6, and in the dreams, I was only 5. Of course, I kind of liked it without my father, a strange and somewhat familiar feeling of freedom always left its place on me.

But that didn't matter now, I was to see my father and the rest of my family again. Being expected to become a responsible member of the royal family as soon as I set foot in the palace. I would be free from the ship but trapped in the place I was forced to call home.

"Prince Frederick!" The captain, Mr Newbury called my name. My head turned from my angsty pondering and I smiled slightly. "You ready? We're just about to dock now." He smiled. I nodded slightly and pat my shoulder handing me a box. "It's your father's birthday today so I advise you give this to him." He whispered slightly. I grabbed the box slightly and smiled.

He pulled his hand off my shoulder and stretched his arms out. "Very well let's get going." He yawned slightly and I nodded again. The deck shifted slightly to a stop and I scattered awkwardly. I leaned up against the edge slightly flustered. Captain Newbury smiled and offered me his hand. I smiled softly again and took it, he pulled me up and we walked towards the plank.

I looked at the long piece of wood and sighed. My head turned slightly to behind me and I looked out at the ocean. I would never see them again. I turned my head back and started walking down the plank. A small crowd of people were gathered around the bottom of the plank, all were curious as to who was disembarking the extravagant ship.

I walked down and kept my gaze towards the ground. The guards held my shoulders slightly and led me through the gap in the crowd. We walked towards a small carriage parked near the pier. I was promptly shoved into it, stumbling into the carriage as Captain Newbury say next to me. He smiled slightly and I sighed looking back at the ocean view.

~At the palace~

It had been a few hours since we had departed from the ship and now I was home. The large halls, the extravagant decorations and the obnoxiously large paintings. Just as it had always been.

I looked around slightly and felt the two guards on either side of me nudge me. I looked back at them slightly scoffing as we walked up the stairs leading to the throne room. I walked up the stairs as slow as I could possibly hide. The guards, of course, did try to push me but as the prince, a nudge was all they could do.

We reached the top of the staircase and I felt my expression fade. My stomach felt ridden with fear and my legs became shaky as I was led towards the throne room. I paused hesitantly at the door and the guards opened it to the familiar hall. At the end of the hall was three distant figures who I knew too well.

My stomach sank again and the guards nudge me forward. I quickly walked in front of the throne and bent over to bow. But before I could even form somewhat of a bow I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I looked up and saw my father hugging me tightly. "Freddy I missed you so much!!!!!" He cried out and I flushed red with embarrassment. I looked behind my father and saw my mother and sister walking towards us. My mother sent me a sympathetic smile and my father pulled away from the hug smiling brightly.

"Hi." I grinned awkwardly and handed my father the box Mr Newbury gave me. "Happy birthday." I awkwardly greeted him. My father looked at the box grabbing it with his hand and tossed it away hugging me again. "You don't need to give me a gift Freddy, you being here is the best present ever." He laughed. I chuckled awkwardly and pulled away from the hug, walking towards my mother.

She was her usual self, the happy and calm looking woman. She smiled and I hugged her tightly. "It's good to have you back Freddy." She smiled and I chuckled hugging her tighter. I opened my eyes slightly and saw my father standing next to my mother with a glaring, almost jealous look. He pulled her away slightly wrapping his left arm around her and smiled.

He was always like this, very protective of my mother. So much that Charles and I were the only other male allowed to even place a finger on her. My father took this rule very seriously, like the time my Uncle Edward decided to kiss my mother on her hand. My father was so close to murdering him on the spot but luckily my mother calmed him down.

I looked at my father oddly and looked at Matilda. I looked at her hand and saw that she still had no ring. "I see you've managed to hold off the wave of suitors." I joked. My sister scoffed and smiled, "Trust me I think I've broken the wrists of most of Europe's prince's ." She chuckled. I laughed slightly and looked around. "What's wrong Matilda questioned.

"Where's Charles?" I asked smiling. Everyone's facial expression faded from happy to almost depressing. I looked at them oddly and my father looked at me.

"Come with me."