Regrets That Were Once Made

Chapter 33 ~ Looking Back

31st of June 1795

~Frederick's pov~

Weddings.

For most, it's a day of celebration and laughter. Two people who love each other unconditionally, forming an unbreakable bond.

But we were royalty, marriage wasn't for love but yet politics and alliances. Of course, it was displayed as true love, but even the men and women who started this knew it was for show.

A union of two people who have never loved, but were 'lucky' enough to be born into royalty. And today my sister had that fate.

The large hall was filled to the brim with people, everyone who had any importance to either side of the marriage was there. Family, friends and advisors all to celebrate two strangers being bound together by 'love.'

Being the brother of the bride I was sat in front near my mother and brother. My father and sister, on the other hand, were elsewhere, ready for the ceremony. Charles, being only 12 was quite oblivious to the events, he just sat in his seat stroking Henry.

On the other hand, I was observing everything around me, the vacant expressions of the nobility to the almost sinister grin that Henrich had while waiting at the altar. Everything felt so off-putting, nothing seemed normal. It felt as if we were celebrating something so indescribably horrid that it left an almost sour taste in my mouth.

But I couldn't do anything but sit and wait. Observing and staying silent no matter how much it irked me. My sister could be quite annoying and psychotic at times but she was still my sister. And that meant I wanted to make sure she'd be safe. But all I could do was sigh and wait.

I leaned back into my seat and noticed my mother's expression. Instead of her calm and warming smiled, she had a look of anxiety, like she was reviewing something freakish.

I turned my head and inspected her face closer, she noticed this and quickly changed her expression back to one of joy. I grinned slightly and noticed her fiddling with her wedding ring. I looked at her hand oddly observing her actions from my seat.

Soon the sound of music began to melodically play through the hall. My head turned almost instinctively and my eyes were greeted with the sight of my sister. She was wearing a gorgeous white dress, it was simple yet elegant. Her honey-blonde hair was tied up in a braided bun and her eyes shone more than usual.

Next to her was my father, instead of being dressed in the usual obnoxious red, he was dressed in simple black attire. His face was still it's merry self though, his blue eyes had a glint of almost pure joy. He was proud, and it was easy to see, not a single skilled scribe could even describe his impeccable joy as he walked my sister down the aisle.

I smiled slightly as they passed me, and saw Matilda's true fear come to fruition as she gave me a petrified glance with her e/c eyes. I felt my stomach and heart become riddled with guilt as my father handed her over to Henrich. My breath became shaken and I glanced over at my father who was now sitting next to my mother. I shuddered in disgust as he wrapped his arms around her and turned my head in front of me.

It had seemed as if time had speed itself forward as I saw Henrich and Matilda kiss. The urge to jump up from my seat and bunch the bastard in the face was overpowering. But I stayed and waited, keeping my self glued to the seat as I witnessed another life ruined.

You could say that it was love's exploits. When it wasn't true it could be toxic.

~Later that day~

Merry singing and people scoffing themselves with food. Who would know that it was celebrating something so sinister?

The newlywed couple was sitting at the centre of attention. My sister trying not to seem petrified and Henrich soaking in all the glory of being married to someone of my sister's status. I was next to Charles and my mother like before. Charles was smiling at Henrich intently as Henrich told tales of his political and social endeavours. Of course, it was complete shit, but my brother was quite gullible. Almost to optimistic at times.

But that was a trait he inherited from our father, who was also equally as optimistic about giving his only daughter away to some random stranger. My mother was unlike my father in that aspect, she looked almost scared for Matilda, yet trying to seem happy. Maybe it was because she had gone through something so similar or because she knew that this Henrich character couldn't be trusted.

Soon the sound of a glass being tapped against fluttered around the hall. My eyes directed towards the familiar face of Matilda's tutor Mr Harrison. He had been her private tutor since she was merely 9 years old.

He smiled slightly and I quickly glanced over at Matilda whose face was even paler than usual. Mr Harrison smiled and stood up almost suspiciously proud. "Thank you, everyone, I'd like to make a toast my student for her engagement to the delightful Prince Henrich. See I have taught the young princess many things, and seeing her be married off gives me such-" Mr Harrison paused lifting his glass higher as he looked over at Matilda.

Matilda's eyes became small and he smirked pulling his hand towards his chest. "Joy." He almost forcefully spoke. Everyone around him started to clap except Matilda. Matilda abruptly got up from her seat and a small yet sinister grin formed on Mr Harrison's face. I felt an odd sensation and I too stood up walking towards Matilda.

Her face was clear with anxiety and her eyes almost completely blinded with fear. She quickly burst out of the hall leaving me to run after her.

I followed the trail of white fabric all the way towards the end of the east garden. Matilda soon sat down hugging her knees slightly. She was huddled near a small hazel tree which had been planted by our great grandfather when he was young. I rushed over to Matilda and she flinched away slightly. "What are you doing here Frederick?" She stuttered slightly. I moved towards her taking off my jacket, draping it around her shoulders. I smiled slightly and she sighed burying her face into her knees as she muttered to herself.

I rubbed her back slightly and she sniffed away her tears looking back at me. "You should go back, Frederick. Just leave me please," she said softly. I looked at her and smiled again, "I'm not leaving you here Matilda, I know something's wrong." I replied. Matilda shifted slightly and she sighed, "It doesn't matter Frederick, none of this matters." She sobbed. I looked at her oddly but hugged her slightly. "You can tell me anything,"I replied.

My sister paused, everything becoming silent. She sighed and looked up at the tree.

"I need to tell you something."