Regrets That Were Once Made

Chapter 27 ~ Subdue

22nd of June 1795

~Frederick's pov~

Sitting on my chair I stared out of the window. Tomorrow was the day I would finally propose to June. Of course, I haven't seen her much ever since I arrived, but I was determined.

I held the small box with the ring inside my hand, it was a plain gold ring with June and I's initials on it. Of course, I hadn't told anyone about the fact that I was going to propose to her but it was better that way.

I wanted to marry the person I loved, not some random stranger who just happened to be of noble birth and a female of my age. Byt I was nervous, nervous that June would reject me. I knew it wasn't right to force someone to marry you so it was up to fate.

I prayed that whatever being that controlled this universe would let me have this one thing. It was the only thing I wanted in life, the one thing that my father or mother would never have, true love.

I sighed and looked outside at the sky, the dark navy blue stretched across the sky and little sprinkles of light scattered everywhere. The moon was glowing luminously, the small faded clouds moving ever so slightly. My eyes floated around and locked onto the sight of the garden below.

The garden where I was to propose to June.

I smiled softly and rested my hand onto my head. My wavy hair fell in front of my face and I brushed it away. Silence consumed the room and I stared at my reflection in the glass. My face was pale my eyes were more blue looking. It seemed as if the world was trying to taunt my looks. I knew that I looked like my father but that didn't mean I was like him in every other way.

I stood up from my chair and sighed as I placed the box on the table. I grabbed a jacket from my bed. I breathed in softly and grabbed the door handle. The cold metal felt as if was stinging against my hand, I ignored the feeling and twisted the handle. I pulled open the door and my eyes wandered around the dimly lit hall.

In front of me was an old portrait of our family. My father was on the right, Matilda in front of him, My mother was holding Charles off to the left and I was in front of her. I looked fairly young, maybe 8 or 7 years old. It was quite a large painting but I hardly took notice of it.

And like usual I walked past it. Staring around at the paintings as I walked towards my parent's room. Each step was fatigued and unbalanced but I needed an answer. I rubbed my head slightly and looked tiny right as I saw the portrait of my parents on their wedding day.

The two figures were cuddled together, I stared at the blank expressions on their faces and tried to imagine what they were really feeling. Closing my eyes I sighed and walked on, just thinking about their wedding sent chills up my spine. I moved on and found the familiar door of my parents room.

"Hello? Mum, can I speak to you?" I spoke and gestured my hand to knock the door. I tapped my knuckles two times and flinched back, waiting for a response.

And awkward silence came upon us and the sound of a bed creaking slightly rattled in my ear. "Frederick, your mother and I are kind of... Busy." My father spoke in frustration. I furrowed my brow slightly and heard a quick gasp.

"Oh, B u s y," I muttered under my breath and flushed red in embarrassment. "I'll talk to you when your finished doing the thing your doing," I spoke awkwardly. I heard another gasp and shuffled away awkwardly.

It looks like I'll have to do this on my own. I breathed in heading back to my room when I felt someone run into me. "Frederick?" I looked down and saw Charles. "Charles, what are you doing out of bed?" I questioned him. He sniffed slightly and hugged the pillow in his arms tightly. "I had a bad dream again and I need mum," he replied. I looked at him awkwardly and smiled. "Mum's busy at the moment," I explained.

Charles looked at me oddly and a louder gasp came from the room. "Freddy, what's that sound? Is mum okay?" He looked at me in fear. I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly and pushed his shoulders slightly. "How about we get you back into bed?" Charles nodded and we walked down the hall towards his room. Charles coughed slightly into his pillow and I looked down at him slightly. I felt my heart sink slightly and Charles tapped on my shoulder.

I looked up and saw June smiling in front of me. "June?" I released my hands from Charles's shoulders and ran up to June hugging her. June chuckled and nuzzled her face near my neck. "Frederick I missed you." She smiled and I kissed her on the cheek. "I missed you too."

Charles folded his arms and June smiled. "So what are you two doing then?" She smiled. I chuckled awkwardly and held Charles's shoulders. "Just taking Charles back to his room," I replied. June smiled and I remembered something.

"June can you meet me at the West Wing garden at 8 tomorrow night?" I smiled. June looked at me oddly but nodded, she twirled her ginger hair again and I laughed nervously. "See you tomorrow then," I replied steering Charles forward. June chuckled, her green eyes reflecting the moonlight.

I smiled back and she walked of. I sighed and Charles pouted. "Ewwwww." I looked at him smiling as my gaze directed towards the moonlight. Charles coughed into his pillow again and I directed my gaze back to him. I held his hips and lifted him up. He chuckled and I looked at the blood-stained pillow as I cradled him in my arms.

"Everything will be alright."