Regrets That Were Once Made

Chapter 34 ~ Past Peels Away

31st of June 1795

~Frederick's pov~

"I need to tell you something."

I looked at Matilda slightly fazed but remember something. My stomach started to feel off and I looked at Matilda worriedly. "Does it have something to do with Mr Harrison?" I whispered. Matilda nodded hesitantly and my eyes widened.

"Matilda, did he do something?" I asked concerned. Matilda looked at me almost petrified and flinched away. "It doesn't matter actually, I think you should just go." she stuttered.

I looked at her and hugged her slightly. "Matilda something clearly happened, you need to tell me." I urged her. Matilda looked down at her knees and sighed, "If I told you what happened you'd hate me or be ashamed." She replied. I looked at her and smiled. "Matilda I'd never be ashamed of you." I comforted her.

Matilda sighed and she wiped away the droplets of water forming in the corners of her eyes. She paused for a second taking a breath and looking up at the dark sky. Everything was almost silent except for the distant sound of merry songs being played from the banquet hall. It was so peaceful yet the situation intense.

"Mr Harrison did things. I don't want to explain exactly what he did because I honestly don't want to remember but he did things." She spoke almost breathlessly. I looked at her and my eyes widened, I hated it, but I knew exactly what she meant. "How long has this been happening?" I questioned.

Matilda sighed and shifted her head towards the tree above us. "I'm honestly not sure but it's been years I guess," she replied. I looked at Matilda sympathetically and looked out at the garden.

"You should have told me, Matilda," I spoke with slight guilt. Matilda turned to me and sighed. "I was just scared that you'll all hate me, that you'll disown me and I just felt ashamed." she sighed. I looked at her and brushed her honey-coloured hair out of her face. "Matilda we're going to have to tell father sooner or later," I replied. Matilda sighed and hugged her knees.

"Do even have to, I mean he didn't do it to me, he just touched me." She spoke softly. I looked at her and hugged her again, "Matilda don't belittle yourself, what happened to you is bad. It doesn't matter that he didn't go that far it matters that he went too far." I voiced.

Matilda sighed and she smiled. "I guess, but even if you tell dad I'm still going to get married to Henrich, I'll still have to have sex with him and I'll still have to have children. Even if you do tell Dad, I'll still have to go through the same things. I mean this is the reason I rejected all those men, it wasn't because I thought they were repulsive. It was because I've never wanted that future of getting a husband and having children." She explained slightly frustrated. I sighed and felt slightly helpless.

I wanted to help Matilda but I couldn't, I could tell father about Mr Harrison and get him killed but as Matilda said it she'd still have to be with someone she didn't want to be with. "Matilda, don't worry, I make sure he doesn't hurt you. But first, we need to tell Dad about what happened because if you don't, how many other girls will have to go through what you did?" I questioned. Matilda sighed and smiled, "I guess." She sighed.

I smiled softly again and wrapped my arm around her. "Don't worry Tilly." Matilda smiled slightly and leaned against me smiling. "I guess you're not that bad after all" She chuckled. I giggled back and she smiled playing with her fingers. "I feel better now, I guess my conscience was right, I should've told you earlier." She sighed. I turned my head slightly and looked at the stars. "Matilda at least you told me," I spoke softly.

Matilda smiled and the sound of quacking soon became apparent. I turned my head in confusion and saw Charles running up to us from behind the tree. "Freddy! Tilly!" He called out and smiled holding his duck. I chuckled slightly and he sat down next to us.

"There you two are! Everyone was so worried!" He exclaimed. I smiled slightly and ruffled his sunshine blonde hair. "It's okay Matilda was just a bit overwhelmed." I smiled slightly. Charles's blue eyes lit up and he half crawled towards Matilda. "Matilda are you okay now?" he questioned.

Matilda chuckled and ruffled his hair as well. "I'm fine Charles." Charles smiled back and picked his duck back up as he squeezed himself in between usual. Henry's head popped out a little and the three of us chuckled. I smiled slightly and wrapped my arm around both of them as our eyes wandered around the sky. Henry quacked again and I felt Charles lean against me.

I smiled again and Matilda also followed him, leaving the three (or four if your counting Henry) of us all huddled together. My eyes soon directed to the moon and a slightly nostalgic feeling washed over me. It had been such an odd year and being surrounded by the people I loved the most made me feel like it was worth it.

Life was hard but I was doing this for the people I loved. Sure being King wasn't ideal but a great leader uses his powers to his best ability. I wanted to help people, make sure no one would feel unsafe.

I looked up again at the tree and saw a hazelnut hanging from one of the branches. The wind blew slightly past it and I smiled appreciating the simplicity of such things. I smiled and lifted my head back down to see both Matilda and Charles fast asleep. I smiled and sighed closed my eyes.

Ready to make the future better no matter what disadvantages I'll come across.