Regrets That Were Once Made

Chapter 30 ~ Standing And Succeeding

22nd of June 1795

~Frederick's pov~

Standing still I held the small box in my hands. Looking around at the garden as I slowly breathed in and out. I opened the small box and smiled at the golden ring inside.

I was nervous but excited to finally propose to June. After years of being together in basically secret, I could finally tell everyone. I didn't care that June wasn't a noble, she was my true love.

"Frederick?" I turned my head excitedly and saw Charles holding the duck. "Charles, what are you doing here?" I glared at him. Charles stroked the duck. "Alexi and I were wondering where you put that book I like. I want to read it with him." He explained. I looked at him annoyed and sighed, "It should be in my room Charles." I replied. Charles grinned and looked at my hand.

"What's that?" He pointed. I looked at the box and flushed red. "N-Nothing, just go and get the book." I stuttered. Charles looked at me and lifted the duck higher. He pulled out a piece of paper a scratched out a word.

I gave him another odd look and he walked away, back in the direction he came. I sighed again and looked around for June.

Any moment she could arrive and any moment we could finally be engaged. I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself and started to breathe in and out slowly.

There was no point in being nervous, I had known June for ages if anything I should feel confident. June and I always loved to think about our future together, and tonight we'd start.

"Frederick?" I looked up and saw June dressed in her usual attire. Her gorgeous ginger hair, her adorable freckles dusted across her face and the plain yet modest dress she always wore.

"June! Your here." I chuckled and she moved forward awkwardly. The lanterns around us and the faint sound of crickets filled the grasshoppers. Her emerald-like eyes reflecting the warm yellow glow of the lanterns. I breathed in again and smiled.

My palms began to shake and June chuckled, "You okay?" I nodded and took another breath. June wasn't bothered though, she waited patiently as I stumbled.

"I wanted you here because-" I sighed and brought out the small box. I knelt down and felt time start to slow. June's eyes looked down at me and I closed mine as I opened the box.

"June Williams, would you do me the absolute honour of being my wife?" I spoke clenching my eyes tighter waiting for a response. The sound of the outside world cut through our conversation and I opened my eyes.

June was looking down at me with a different expression. Her eyes were full of something other than joy. "June?" I looked at her and she looked down. "Frederick I can't," she spoke softly. I looked at her confused dropping the box. "What do you mean?" I questioned nervously. June's eyes glanced sideways, her hands shaking slightly. "I'm sorry Frederick but your father-" She froze and I looked at her shocked.

"June what did my father say?" I questioned her worriedly. June turned away and sprinted off towards the other end of the garden. I felt my heart sink and tears start to prick in my eyes.

The words June said to me started to float around my mind and anger soon enveloped in me. I picked up the box from the damp ground and started heading towards the throne room.

Looks like I'll have to pay a visit to my dear old dad.

~At the throne room~

Pacing up the stairs I muttered in anger. My father definitely did something and I was going to find out.

I was just beginning to care about him but he crossed the line. He was his same selfish self who only wanted happiness for himself. I didn't want to hear his excuse I just wanted to know what he said to June.

I steadily walked up on the last stair and looked ahead at the door in front. The two guards standing at the front smiled and I glared at them both. I walked towards the door and without hesitation, I burst open the door.

"Your Highness, what are you doing?" The two guards both questioned in a surprised tone as I stormed in. I glared back at them both and they flinched away as I approached my father. He was sitting boredly on his throne like usual, positioned like some sort of God.

I scoffed and his eyes directed towards me. "Freddy? What are you doing here?" He questioned. I glared up at him and walked towards the throne. "Don't act stupid, what did you say to June?" I interrogated him. My father's expression faded and he went even paler than usual.

"Freddy, what do you mean?" He smiled slightly. I scoffed and pulled out the wedding ring. "Don't 'Freddy' me, I know you said something to her about me proposing to her!" I yelled.

My father backed away with a look of guilt, "Freddy I'm sorry but she isn't right for you." He spoke. I glared at him and scoffed, "How? She was the best darn woman I have ever known." I argued back.

"Frederick we can't marry commoners, you should know that." My father tried to reason. I looked at him and walked even closer. "Can't marry commoners!? What was mother than? Because I'm pretty sure she wasn't a noble." I shot back. My father looked at me slightly frustrated and took a deep breath.

"Frederick your mother is different-" I cut my father off and he looked at me shooked. "Different, My mother was no different from June. The only difference is the men who fell in love with them." I leaned closer.

My father backed away again, his eyes full of fear. "Freddy, what do you mean?" He nervously spoke. I glared at him and looked at my feet. "I know what you did to Mum and how you got her to be your wife. And I definitely know you aren't the saint you praise yourself to be." I hissed. My father's eyes widened slightly and he looked at me.

"Frederick, It's nothing like Samuel told you. Your mother loves me a lot." He frantically spoke. I looked down at him and turned my head slightly. "Sure love! You know what, your f*cking delusional. Not only does Mum not love you but neither do Matilda, Charles and I." I spoke looking towards the window. My father's expression became evidently more anxious and I looked down and saw his pathetic self.

"You make us do all these stupid royal things and just expect us to be okay with it. You treat us like little chess pieces to sacrifice, awhile having the delusion that you're a wonderful parent. Well, guess what 'Father', when I was in America with Mr Seabury he felt more like a father than you ever had! I know he isn't my biological father but you know what? I don't care, you're a horrible person, your a horrible father and most importantly your a horrible Husband!" I shouted.

I turned around and felt my father reach out for me, "Frederick, I-I'm sorry."I looked down at him again and shoved the ring back into my pocket not uttering a word to him. All the things I always wanted to say to father, I had just yelled towards him. I wanted to feel bad but instead, I felt something nice.

The feeling of relief.