Regrets That Were Once Made

Chapter 32 ~ Family Ties

24th of June 1795

~Frederick's pov~

Staring down at my plate I made sure not to utter a word. Was it the sheer awkwardness of the dinner or the fear that my father took the words I had said to him as a threat.

Luckily I was sat the furthest from him, the fate of being near him was secured by my mother and our special dinner guest and fiancè of Matilda, Prince Henrich.

I didn't know Henrich that much but he seemed like a snake, smiling and nodding to whatever my father says all while treating Matilda like his property. I didn't like the look of him, and it wasn't just my protectiveness over my sister. It was the fact that his whole demeanour was off.

"Henrich I'm delighted you decided to join us anyway. You've got a big week ahead." My father smiled. Henrich smirked and put his arm on Matilda's shoulder. "Your Majesty it is my honour to join you, besides I should at least get to know my darling's family." He chuckled. Matilda shifted slightly and my father smiled brighter. "I'm glad you're marrying my daughter, I'm sure you'll be a wonderful husband." My father remarked.

Henrich smiled again and Charles looked up, "Yeah! Henrich is really cool." He giggled. My mother, who was sitting next to him chuckled and the sound of a duck quacking filled the room. "Charles, what is Henry doing at the dinner table?" My father looked at him suspiciously. Charles flushed a slight pink colour and pushed Henry with his feet. "What do you mean?" He innocently smiled. My father chuckled and he smiled looking down at his plate.

Something was off about his smile, it wasn't the usual happy-go-lucky grin he usually had but a more muted one. My mother saw this two and almost instinctively moved closer. "George, love. What's wrong?" She whispered slightly. My father turned to her and sighed slightly motioning to me. I quickly ducked my head down and heard some more whispering.

Soon the sound of chairs moving filled my ears and I propped up my head to see my mother and father standing up. "Your Majesty, are you okay?" Henrich spoke. My father smiled slightly, holding my mother's hand slightly. "I'm fine Henrich, thank you for the concern. I just need to talk with my wife." He replied. Henrich nodded and smiled. "Well, thank you for the dinner, your Majesty."

"It was my pleasure." My father responded. I looked at him briefly and turn back to my food as he and mum walked out. I felt a weird feeling in my stomach and I sighed slightly as I watched My mother and father walk out of the hall. I felt the feeling again and turned around to distract myself. I looked at Charles's plate which was an arrangement of half-eaten pieces of food and smiled. "You okay?"

Charles smiled softly and sighed putting his fork down. "I wonder why dad has been really upset lately?" He sighed. I looked at him and the feeling in my stomach worsened. I sighed and smiled patting his back slightly. "I'm sure he's just tired," I replied. Charles smiled and ducked under the table to grab Henry. He patted the duck and smiled, looking around at everything.

I chuckled slightly and looked back at my plate again. Except this time the feeling I felt before was worse and I knew exactly what it was. I didn't want to but yet I did.

I felt guilty for what I had said.

~Matilda's pov~

It was late, I just wanted some time to myself because I knew that soon I wouldn't have the freedom of choice. I knew it was a bit dramatic thinking getting married was the end of the world but for me it kind of was.

It wasn't because I was repulsed by the idea of love it was just my experience with it. I never really liked to tell anyone but something happened years ago that not only scared me from the idea but of love but to also train myself not to ever need help.

I didn't want to be dependent on others, because when that happened before I became vulnerable and accepted twisted things as love. It may sound odd but I was scared to love. I was scared that the things that happened would happen again and that the nightmares of the past that have been haunting me for years would come true.

So that was why I was here, in a small study that no one ever used. Sitting on the small green couch and getting away from whatever else was happening. I just wanted and needed time to myself. Time to try and forget everything that was holding me back.

The past I fear to even review.

Knock. My head lifted up and my eyes stared at the door. It was quite dark, which made things much more sinister. I breathed in and sighed as the cold night air drew into my lungs. "Yes?" I replied. The door opened and my mother walked in smiling. "I knew you'd be in here," she spoke softly.

I smiled slightly and she walked towards me. "You must be nervous for next week aren't you." She remarked. I looked up at her and sighed, "Yeah, you could say that." I chuckled awkwardly. My mother smiled and sat down next to me as she hugged me. "Don't worry, I understand the feeling." She replied. I looked at her and smiled as my eyes trailed towards ger wedding ring. "What was your wedding like?" I questioned.

My mother went silent, something about the way her face changed reminded me of myself. "I guess I can't say it was perfect or favourable for me in general but it depends on who you marry." She remarked. I looked at her and smiled slightly, hugging her back, "So do you think I'm going to be okay?" I questioned.

My mother smirked and sighed, "Well if you're husband isn't the best there's always good old arsenic. You know, sprinkle a bit in his food." she chuckled. I smiled slightly and sighed. "I guess. Do you have any?" I smirked. My mother looked down and smiled.

"Why would I tell you?" She joked. I smiled and she hugged me tighter. "Don't worry Matilda, I'll make sure that everything that happened to me won't happen to you."

I looked at my mother oddly and looked at her ring. "What do you mean?" I questioned. My mother stayed silent, holding me slightly like I was still a child.

"You'll find out one day."