Payton- addiction

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by MYSTICMANNERS

by MYSTICMANNERS

That's right, after telling all his 12 year old fans not to smoke, juul or do drugs he becomes addicted.
Every night it's the same, he goes to the window and smokes a joint, yeah MY Payton Moormeier smokes weed, you know what, I'm coming to the conclusion that I can't do this.

Y/n: Payton can we talk?
I asked him as he rolled up a joint and grabbed his lighter
Payton: babe not right now, can this wait a bit?
He asked as he got up and went over to the window, opening it wide.
Y/n: no.
I said sternly, he turned around and looked at me
Y/n: it can't wait
I elaborated.
He rolled his eyes and huffed before closing the window and putting his joint and lighter on the windowsill.

Payton: wassup?
He asked as he sat down with me
Y/n: I can't do it anymore Payton
I explained to him
Payton: do what?
He asked confused as he turned his full attention to me.
Y/n: us, this, what we have... it's not-
I took a deep breath before continuing, gathering up my thoughts before I say the wrong thing.
I loved Payton, he was my world and my first love, the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but he just wasn't ready.
He didn't need love to help him, he needed support, not a girlfriend, he didn't need me.

Y/n: Payton I don't think you love me... you love with the feeling of being in love, but that's not what I'm here for
I explained, tearing up a bit
Payton: what do you mean I don't love you, I put everything into this relationship to make it work, to make you happy, I wouldn't have done that if I didn't love you
He said with teary eyes
Y/n: yeah, you've done the bare minimum, and it's not our relationship that's falling so apart, it's you. Can't you see that? You've gone from hating drugs and smoking to doing them both!
I stressed
Y/n: I don't want diamonds and money to make me feel special, I want you, holy crap I wouldn't give a fuck if you were the most broke person alive, I love you for you and nothing else, you're the most amazing, genuine person... well you were
I said the last part quietly, not wanting to hurt him but the damage was already done
Payton: so you're breaking up with me?
He asked, a tear falling down his cheek
Y/n: yeah.
I whispered quietly and lowered my head
Payton: you know I tried right? I tried to quit, I tried everything when I realised you didn't like it but nothing helped, I was scared of loosing you, and now I have.
He told me, the words coming out of his mouth sweet and sincere but almost inaudible.
Y/n: Payton you haven't lost me, you never will, I'll still support you and be here for you... just not as your girlfriend
I said as another tear fell.
Payton: I'm sorry I hurt you
He said, placing a hand on my face, me melting into his touch.
But I knew this was wrong
He leaned in, our lips almost touching before I quickly swerved the kiss and pecked his cheek instead.
Y/n: we couldn't do that Payton
I told him as I hugged him, talking about our near kiss
Payton: I know...
he said as he dug his head into my shoulder, just holding me there, not saying a word, taking in this silence.
Payton: I'm sorry that I pushed you away, I didn't realise what I was doing until it was too late.
He told me and I pulled back from the kiss
Payton: but I can promise you one thing, I really do love you Y/nL/n
I stood up and nodded, wiping away my tears.

I didn't look back as I left his room, I had to restrain myself from jumping back into his arms and holding his heartbroken self in my arms.

I had just made the hardest decision of my life.

I left the room and closed the door behind me, my back to it as I heard him get mad, throwing things around and shouting, saying how he messed up and didn't deserve me, how I was the light to his life but he lost it, he lost me.

I broke down at the sound of it, him acting like this.
Joanne came over to the door after hearing all the noise.
Joanne: my darling what's going on? Is everything okay?
She asked me and rubbed my shoulders.
I looked up at her and all I could say was one thing.

Y/n: I broke your son, I'm sorry
I moved out of her arms and ran down the stairs, out the door, down the street, I ran in the rain, it felt like hours before I finally reached my house.
I could see my mom, dad and sister they were all having a laugh, playing something on the TV.
I froze as I realise what I had done.

I had thrown away my happiness.

I sat down by the window outside, my hoodie soaking up the water from the grass below me, my hair drench, my whole body soaked.

Mom: oh darling, come here my baby get inside
She said as she came over and helped me stand up, me diving into her arms, her not caring as to wether or got her wet or not, just wanting her daughter to be safe.
Mom: let's get inside and fix up a nice hot chocolate
She suggested as we made our way inside.

Paytonmoormeier
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I'm sorry I wasn't good enough, just know that I love you.

Love y'all 💛