f o r t y - f o u r

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I literally have no idea how to balance my writing so this is actually 90% dialogue I'm not even kidding my bad

I woke up to a loud ringing.

God, it was so loud.

Why the fuck wasn't it stopping?

I tore my eyelids open with a loud, obnoxious groan, shooting straight up out of my bed.

Wait.

Bed? Why the hell am I in a bed and not on the roof?

I tried to move on from that, and instead search for the loud ringing around me.

Eventually, I found it to my phone stuffed in the pocket of my jeans, and pulled it out to answer it. It was a blocked number, and I almost didn't answer it just for that reason, but I decided at the last second that it might've been Owen or someone.

"Hello?" I groaned, running a hand through my hair.

"Mind telling me what the fuck you were thinking?" The voice on the other end of the line growled.

"What-- Who the hell are you?" I snapped, grimacing slightly.

"Like that's the important part." He scoffed. "What the fuck do you think you're doing, exactly?"

"Dude, who are you?" I asked. "I don't have to tell you shit."

"Do you think this is some kind of fucking game?" He asked, critically. "What was this, some kind of stunt?"

"What are you-- What game? What business is it of yours what I do with my life, huh, dickhead?" I snapped.

"Do you really think I'd just take off without keeping some kind of contact?" He asked.

And my heart sank.

"I-- Ashton?" I asked cautiously, suddenly much more awake than before.

"Don't do this to me, Luke. Please. Don't make me feel even worse for doing this." He said, sounding rather hollow and a lot like thunder storms.

"I-- You-- Where the hell are you?" I asked, standing straight up from my bed.

"Please understand me, Luke." He said, seeming to ignore my question. "Try to understand why I had to leave."

"Screw you!" I snapped before he even had the chance to breathe.

"Luke--"

"No! Screw you! Don't think that you can fucking disappear out of thin air and then try to control my life! You've got no fucking right!" I yelled, biting my cheeks to keep the tears from spilling from my eyes.

"Luke, please--"

"Who the fuck do you think you are? You think you can just up and leave me without any warning and expect to maintain some type of fucking authority over me? Screw you!"

"Don't fucking do this to me!" He snapped. "Don't make me fucking feel bad for finally trying to move on with my life and fix myself!"

"Then don't do it at my expense!" I yelled, and he fell silent. "Don't think you can just use me to try and make things better and then leave me because I don't have any use anymore! I am a human fucking being! I have feelings, dammit! Just because you don't have shit for feelings doesn't mean no one else does either!"

And everything just fell to a pin-drop silence, aside from the heavy breathing coming from the both of us from yelling.

"You think I don't know that?" He asked, a bit shortly. "You think I don't spend every minute that I'm gone just fucking thinking about that?"

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