Into Darkness

Chapter 22

Ryler:

I toss and turn all night as I think of everything that has happened in the last twenty four hours. To say that they have been intense would be an understatement even for my crazy life. It's exactly one a.m. when I hear Nikki come into our room and I'm glad she had a good enough time that she decided to stay out until her allotted curfew. I smile to myself when I hear her drunken giggles as she stumbles around in the dark of our room.

"Did you have fun?" I ask and I hear her stumble again as she knocks into things.

"Shit Ry" she says as she gasps. "You scared me."

"Sorry" I giggle as I sit up so I can turn on a light. "Better?" I ask once the light is on.

"Yea thanks" she says gratefully.

"Well . . .?" I prompt as I watch her look for pajamas.

She turns to look at me like she forgot I was there and I can see how not-sober she is. I stifle a laugh. "How was the party?" I ask.

She beams at me, "It was so much fun Ry! I forgot what parties were like. There was so much dancing and boys! Cute boys!"

I laugh at her excitement and I try to ignore the familiar feeling of guilt in my stomach as I think about the life I've been keeping her from. "That's great Nik" I say truthfully as I smile at her.

"Yea" she says as she smiles at me but then I watch as it slowly dims. "I missed you though" she says and I can tell she means it. "I wish you could have come. How was your night?"

"Eh" I say noncommittally, not wanting to get into the drama of my night. "We can talk about that in the morning. You should go get ready for bed and maybe take some Advil to help with that hangover."

"Good idea" she says like the idea would have never occurred to her on her own. I briefly wonder just how much she had to drink.

A few minutes later Nikki is all ready for bed and I wait until she is tucked in before I turn off the light. We say goodnight and within minutes I hear the soft sounds of Nikki's breathing and I know she's soundly asleep. I'm happy that one of us will be getting a goodnight's sleep tonight.

A few hours go by before I begin checking my phone to see if Colt has texted me. I nodded off for a few minutes, but otherwise I haven't really slept. I'm desperate to get out of my room. I'm desperate to be with him and talk about everything. I think it's time we really talked about the way we feel for one another. Maybe we could figure this out. The very little optimist in me was semi-hopeful.

It's nearly six in the morning and I still haven't heard from him. I'm tempted to text him or go across the hall and knock on his door, but I decide against it. Maybe he's busy, or maybe he's still sleeping, or maybe he just doesn't want to see me. I really tried to ignore the voice in my head that was screaming at me that the last option was most likely the truth.

It's then that I decide to get up and shower. I take my time as I let the hot water rush over my skin and I massage at my muscles which are sore from tension and stress more so than any physical activity. I look down at my scars and I briefly wonder what Colt would think if he saw them. I always wear shirts that cover them, except for in the summer but we are in the fall and winter months now so I know he's never seen them. I even wear long-sleeved shirts when we workout together. I wonder if he would still be attracted to me then or if he would be repulsed by the sight of them. I have to say in defense of the plastic surgeon who stitched me up that he did a remarkable job given what he had to work with. My body was a mess by the time I made it to the hospital. I know my scars could have been a lot worse. I know I could be dead.