Just Eternity | ✓ |

Twelve.

After getting more sympathy from Sam and a basket of apologies, Maddox and I went back to his apartment. He tried talking about us and where we stood but I felt like it was a private conversation. Not one for the streets of New York.

Plus, I had no idea what to do.

I loved him at one point and I could see myself loving him fully again but so many feelings of distrust were still in the air.

Once we got back to his luxurious apartment, I couldn't help but feel antsy as I booked my plane ticket for just a few hours from now.

"Ellie," Maddox hushed, pulling me closer to him on the couch. "I know I fucked up. I know I hurt you but none of it was intentional. I care about you and I haven't shown that in the slightest even when we were together. I know I'm asking a lot from you, to give me a second chance, but I really fucking mean it when I say I need you. Sam or whoever can call it obsessive, I don't care. These last four years have been the most depressive without you. I helped you through a lot of shit when we first met but I never got to tell you that even in your darkest days, you were still my light. I don't know how you do it, every time I'm around you I feel like a little boy on my birthday. Even after all this time."

I knew he always loved me. He did show it by caring for me after Mason hurt me. By involving my Dad in every little thing and treating him as if his own father. He did so many things to show me he cared but then he ruined it, by leaving me.

I lowered my voice, trying to be as calm as I could with my raging emotions, "Let's just forget about that for a minute. Okay? I am so proud of you."

I looked into those sad green eyes that seemed to light up at my words.

"Max, I am so proud of who you've become. You're an amazing Doctor, a loyal person and over all, a loving, gentle soul. I can't imagine not having someone like you in my life. I mean, I can. I had to do it for four years but it wasn't easy and after seeing you again, I know I want you in my life."

Max shifted closer to me, wrapping his arm around my back. His eyes only watching my lips as they moved as he took in every word that left them.

"I'm proud of you too, L. You seem so full of life when you talk about tattooing. You get this twinkle in your eye," his hand grazed my cheek as he smiled, "I'm so happy you found your passion and I wish I could have seen you grow as a person through it all."

My heart pounded from my chest hearing his words. They were something I had always wanted to hear him say. For years, I wondered if he thought my profession was stupid or the easy way out compared to the other path He went that involved years of schooling.

I grasped his warm hand and relaxed into his sweet, gentle touch. Taking in the softness of the pads of his fingers that rubbed my tanned skin with even strokes.

"I don't know where I'm going still. I could end up staying in California or even moving to Colorado. It's not fair to you, for you to move your entire life until I know for sure." I spoke softly, watching his gaze fall just slightly at my words.

"You don't want me to come." Max asked with disappointment dripping from his tongue.

"All I'm saying is, you chased me around for weeks when we first got together. It wouldn't be fair to make you do the same now, especially now that you're a doctor. You can't just up and leave jobs. We both have responsibilities in two different places."

Max exhaled loudly and stuffed his face into his hands. The soft pads of his fingers rubbed his stubbled chin roughly as he shook his head. "I really fucked everything up." He muttered.

I couldn't help but feel heartbroken for him. No matter what he had done to me in the past, I hated seeing Max upset. Every time I'd picture him, he was this strong, protective boyfriend.

Now, all I see is a man who is pretending to be okay but crumbling under the surface.

"Ellie, I want to fix us. Just tell me how I could do that without overstepping or being an asshole. Because right now, I'm ready to pin you to the couch and make you miss your flight." Max stammered out, his voice deepening with his words as his green eyes glanced over my body.

I placed a calming hand to his thigh even if I was trembling on the inside at the dark, dirty meaning of his statement.

"Maybe you could come out to California. Get some time off from work and visit there. You could see where I work and live because I can promise my apartment isn't nearly as nice as this." I let out a small laugh. "Let's take it slow. Maybe then, distance won't be an issue and we could be stronger together than before."

Max's fingers rubbed from his eyes, pulling his cheeks downward with a groan. "Okay."

"Yeah?" I cocked a brow at his easy-goingness. It definitely wasn't what I remember him being when it came to us being together.

"Yeah." He lightly smiled, "I'll come visit you in California. You could focus on opening your shop and I'll be here when you're ready."

I couldn't help but laugh as his eyes lit up while his brain ran a mile of a minute. I could see evil schemes formulating in his green orbs like a script.

"You look like you're up to no good." I giggled, putting my legs on his lap and curling up to his chest.

"Just thinking about what to do to you when I visit." He murmured, pulling my chin upwards until our lips were meshed together.

***