After Rammstein

It's Never Going To Happen

I awoke to soft snores coming from beside me, I opened my eyes weary of another headache I slowly and cautiously opened them one at a time. As I finally pried them open to the success of not having an headache I began searching for the source of the snores until I rolled over..Richards asleep right beside me.. He looked so cute asleep, I just wanted to watch him sleep forever! Eww.. A little creepy there Ivy.. I reached behind me trying to grab my cell phone without disturbing him. As I got it I turned it onto camera mode and snapped a quick picture of him..Hey! I was literally already being a creeper so...judge away. I smiled at how cute it was but began getting a devilish thought.. I put the phone back onto the nightstand and observed him a little longer, the way his jet black hair was straightened..I had always enjoyed his hair, no matter straightened or spiked on top of his head, he always looked like a god. I began sneaking into his arms and throwing them around me, occasionally stopping when he'd stir or move around. Finally I threw my arms around him and tucked my head into the crook of his neck. I knew I shouldn't be doing it but it's what I've wanted to do for so long! And as long as I move myself before he wakes up he'll never even know! I laid there just breathing in his scent, he smelled of expensive cologne and cigarettes, I just couldn't get enough of it. Even though his constant snoring was right next to my ear I gained the courage and did something I would have died if he ever would find out about! I kissed his neck before falling asleep, cuddling him.. What can I say? I like to cuddle.

The next time I woke up I had planned on prying myself from Reesh, but it was unnecessary as I found the bed empty except for myself occupying it. I crawled out of bed to the living area..no Reesh.. So I went to the bathroom, the door was open and light was off.. I went back through the bedroom to the balcony door and sure enough there he was smoking..I honestly should've known. I opened the sliding glass door "hey!" He said as he turned to me smiling "hi! Whatcha doing out here?" I asked leaning against the railing "nothing..thinking.." I nodded in understanding "what were you dreaming about?" I tilted my head, why does he want to know about my dreams? I'm sure as hell not telling him..."just a little bit of this and that..you know" I said lying through my teeth "I stayed in there with you..and you were saying my name." WHAT!? "I-uhh.... I mean I don't remember the dream" I didn't think he'd believe me.. And I could tell by the expression on his face that he knew I was lying. "Sure..Is that why you were all snuggled up to me in there?" Oh crap... How do I save my ass on this one? "I don't know.." Was all I could say, he very once looked up at me, only the view straight ahead "you know I'm old enough to be your father?" So? "Okay? So what?" He finally looked to the ground "I'm just saying too many people frown upon that...relationships with one being significantly older.." I almost felt like crying "I know..I just don't care what the people say" I stated truthfully "good, you'll need to not care when you're a musician" I laughed a little "sorry..I didn't mean to dream about you..like that" he smirked "so you do remember it?" I nodded while blushing "I'm not going to tell you about it if that's what you're wanting..." He gave a huff of laughter "it's fine, I just want you to know that there's never going to be anything between us, never" he looked into my eyes and said..ouch I could honestly feel my heart break a little. "That's fine." I lied as he nodded...this is not fine.. I went back inside and laid on the bed.. I knew I would never be with Reesh so why do I feel this way? He's JUST my tutor, nothing more. The only reason he's probably even tolerating me is because my parents are paying him.. Its okay, I'm over it.