Turning The Page

Seventy Four

The tears had been almost as immediate as Cricket and Aurie's squeals at the mention of our baby... My sweet Bean had let what I had said register in his mind and in seconds he was in the happiest fit of tears I've ever seen... His arms tucked between us so he can clench my shirt in his fists while he clings to me, sobbing into my neck

"Y-Y-You think-? You think I'm pregnant already, Daddy?" The words are said around hiccups and the cutest teary sobs I've ever heard, and I can feel the flush backing my cheeks grow even brighter, the silent hope that I hadn't meant to say out loud just yet already laid bare on the table. 

How can I lie about the way it feels different now when I lay my palm on his belly? The other night had really brought it home for both halves of me that we are very much going to be parents, if not now, then soon... And it had made me so emotional I hadn't known where to start in broaching the subject with my sweet Mama... "I-... I don't want you to feel pressured by me answering that..." 

I don't want him to feel like he's disappointing me if he's not pregnant... Or if he doesn't get pregnant with the remainder of his heat because of the stress of having to be away from home... 

...

Adrian

...

"D-Daddy..." I know that it's not nice to whine, especially in front of other people, but I need to know...

There hasn't been a single moment where I've lost faith that Silas does want a family with me... That he does want kids... But it's also been obvious that he's been careful not to say it... He's mentioned before not wanting to pressure me... That he doesn't want to make me stress out over it any more than I already am... But I still need the reassurance... I want to hear him say that he thinks he's gotten me pregnant because it feels like it'll make it real... It'll make it more real that I'm not the only one who feels like maybe just maybe I've got more in me than just a food baby from the massive blueberry bagels we're in the process of eating... It's more than just a want... I need to hear my man acknowledge his baby... Our baby... "Please, Silas."

The way his body responds to my adjust of position so reflexively feels so good right now, the tears in my eyes showing no signs of stopping soon with my hormones as up in the air as the currently are, and at the moment I just want to be as close to him as possible... His arms sliding themselves around my waist so that he can better shelter me, his hand stroking my back in the most comforting way he knows how while he presses the softest kisses against the top of my head waiting for me to calm down a little bit before trying to answer again...

...

Silas

...

My Princess always leaves me so weak... I don't want to ever make him feel like he has to give me a biological child for the two of us to have a happy family, or that it has to happen right away... But I can understand his thought process and can't fault him for needing to have me reconfirm that both he and our baby are both very much wanted, "Your heat seems to be easing up a bit early... And... Just... Yeah. Yes, Princess... I think you're very... very pregnant right now and I just want to hold you and take care of you, and feed you decaf, and you need to let me, Bean."

The words aren't hard to say... They aren't even hard to say in front of other people... They choke me up because of how special it feels to really say it out loud for the first time, and in the moment everything else just kind of fades away with how focused we feel on each other right now, even with the others at the table fawning over the two of us while we fawn over each other, Adrian's tears falling even faster when I say what he needs to hear right now. 

The way he curls into me feels so precious, his hands releasing my shirt only to slide down still between us so he can rest them on his belly right over where our mini-bean should currently be floating while he leans into me, a silent 'Thank you'  being pushed from his mind to mine...

"Unlock your phone." The Spanish accent ringing out next to my ear startles me so much that I nearly turn on Harper in what would be considered by most as a very unfriendly fashion due to how close he feels to my sweet Beans... Which at the moment is too close. 

"Don't be stupid, Silas. Trust me. You want one of us to take a picture of this moment for you. For later." The logic is whispered, and as advice from one father to another, I think I can understand what he means by For later... The two of us will want to always remember this moment, and it's something that both of us can cherish, especially if he does that he did to one of our other pictures, adding that little border thing with the date before making it the screensaver on both of our phones... The hesitation I had felt when he had snagged my phone from the table vanishing as I try and blink away the tears that have managed to pop up in my eyes over the emotion of the moment, my hand leaving my sweet Beans just long enough for me to key in the pin for Harper before returning to rubbing my beautiful mate's back... His tears are still soaking into my shirt, and I know that people are probably staring at the bunch of us being so dorky... But they have no idea how special right now is for the two of us... And I appreciate the fact that our friends seem to know what's going on, and they are more than happy to celebrate with us, their smiles genuine as Harper snaps picture after picture of the two of us while we focus more on snuggling than actually finishing our breakfast, the coffee that had sparked the conversation abandoned next to our shared plate while we coo back and forth to each other...

And to our baby.