Inside the Madness of My Mind

SWS

Seeing you in that moment
Was a magical sight.

Hearing your words
Your stories over and over.

If I knew it was the last Time
I would see you...
Hear you...

I would have never left
That moment for a second.

Instead here I am hearing that
Voice over and over without you in sight.

Walking by you everyday still with you
Nowhere in sight hearing your voice.

If I knew it was the last time I would get to be by you
I would have never left your side that night.

Now I only have the echo of your words
Running rampant in my memories of your greatness.

I was quiet for years, never standing out...
Never speaking out...

If I knew it was the last time
I wouldn't have been quiet about how much
I love you!

I love you Grandpa. You will always be greatly missed.

Inside the Mind: Okay so this poem really hits home. It's been many years since he past away and it never gets easier. I wrote this poem for the one year anniversary of his passing. So early senior year of High school. So I wrote this poem because I needed to get my grief off my chest. Like I said I have issues expressing myself so I harbor it inside. I just lock it away and move on in life. Some things can only stay inside for so long though. This was one of them. Sure I'm expressing my love for my grandpa and how much I'll miss him. I also go into my regret about how I acted in his final week alive. He was put on Hospice so we knew he was going any moment. Well the last time I was around him alive it was in a crowded room full of my family. Well me being me couldn't really handle the gravity of the situation and the crowded room really didn't help. So I made an excuse about how I didn't feel well which I didn't but that was mainly due to the crowded room. So I left to my at the time girlfriends house and played Mario Party 9 on the Wii. Yeah back then I think I just wanted to be comforted by her and to obviously get out of the crowded room. Looking back on it I wish I had spent just a little more time in the room with him. Even if only a little more before caving in. Maybe that's why I visited his grave every time I walked my dog Balto after he passed. I mean every time too give her take a couple times due to weather. Either way sorry for the book I'll move on.