Along the way ( Province #1 )

Kabanata 33

Warning, this chapter may trigger some emotions. Read at your own risk. If you can't take this part, you can also skip this.

Sa makalipas na araw, pinilit kong lumabas ng kwarto ko na parang walang nangyari. I've tried to act like normal, like it was just before.

Woke up in the morning and had a morning breakfast with them, feed the ducks and chicken, clean the house chores, water the plants. Lahat ginawa ko ng normal. Lahat pinakibagayan ko. I stayed, kahit sakal na sakal na ako sa presensiya niya.

I tried so hard. I promise I can't think anymore. All I wanted was to escape. I wanted to buried this pain.

"Couz, you should try this. It's good!" my cousin Christian, giving me a pack of chips.

I stopped walking and face him. I stood there, with my face remains stoic. Nang walang makuhang sagot mula sa akin, he let go of the chips. Defeated. Hindi na ako nagtagal at umalis na rin sa harapan nito. At sa paglalakad ko, hindi sinasadyang mabunggo ako sa kung sino.

"Gracia?"

Nag-angat ako ng tingin. My eyes begun to water. Finally, I have someone to be with.

"Josh,"

Tinalon ko ang distansya namin at niyakap siya ng mahigpit. I cried on his arms. Josh didn't ask what's the problem. Hinayaan lang niya akong umiyak sa bisig niya.

"They fooled me Josh..." humihikbi kong sabi.

Patuloy pa rin niyang hinahaplos ang likod ko. Pilit akong pinapatahan.

"I hate them Josh, I hate Abel!" clenching my fist.

Bumitiw ako mula sa pagkakayakap niya at marahang pinunasan ang mga luha. Pero patuloy pa rin ito sa masaganang pag-agos.

"Sorry sa abala,"

Tatalikod na ako, pero muli ko siyang binalikan.

"Are you one of them? Niloko mo lang din ba 'ko? Alam mo rin bang--"pag putol ko. I can't even find the right word to say.

"Hindi ka kabit Gracia, hindi kailanman..."

I gave Josh a painful smile. At least, I'm happy that there's someone beleived that I could call a real one. Bihira na lang ang mga taong totoo. At sa panahon ngayon, napakahirap ng maghanap ng ganoon.

I went on my room, darkness enveleped my room. Mapait na ngumiti ako nang bumaling ang tingin ko sa labas ng bintana. How could you be so beautiful, and yet brings lusterless? I stretched out my hand. Feeling that I could touch it.

"I finally found what lies beyond those thick clouds of yours... You're beautiful, yet you made me blind along with your luminescence, you Gave me light, but you fooled me..." I whispered into the air.

I closed my eyes and breath the fresh air, I will surely miss you.

Tumalikod ako at kinuha ang isang bagay na matagal ko ng tinatago sa loob ng kabinet ko. I'm sorry for everything, I'm such a fool.

The sharpness of the cold metal directly hit my skin. Mabigat ang bawat paghinga ko ng tuluyan ko ng pinatama ito sa pulso ko. The blood made me weak, as it comes out of my body. If this the only way to escape this pain. Then I'll gladly do it.

I smiled painfully before darkness enveloped my sight, as happy and painful memories flashed in my mind like a bliss.

Along the way of loving some, nakakagawa tayo ng mga bagay na hindi natin inaasahan at nalalaman. Abel and I we will never be compatible. I will never find the missing pieces. I let myself be fooled, I let myself be shattered that scattered into tiny pieces, that's why.