plushies | norenmin

twenty nine

the boys all succeeded in cheering renjun up as they watched his favorite movies and ate all of his favorite snacks. he was now cuddled up between his boyfriends, watching tangled with a content smile on his face.

neither of the younger boys had failed to notice how clingy he was being. they were used to him being cuddly and affectionate with them but he never refused to let them go and that's what he had been doing for the past few hours since the incident with san. however neither of them were mad, just slightly worried.

jaemin checked the time before looking around the room at everyone. the sun had set faster than expected and it was now 1am and some of the boys were asleep. mark and donghyuck were asleep on one couch, cuddled into each other, while jisung was sleeping peacefully with his head on chenle's shoulder. chenle was the only one awake apart from the other three boys.

jaemin looked down at the boy next to him and he could see his eyes were getting heavy as he stared at the screen. 'i'll be back in a second love, okay?' jaemin whispered to renjun who's eyes immediately opened as he looked at the blue haired boy. jeno looked between the pair and nodded at jaemin, gesturing for him to do whatever he had to do, before he pulled renjun closer to him and pecked his cheek.

jaemin slipped away from the pair and made his way to chenle, tapping his shoulder. chenle looked up at him and hummed. 'we need to talk.' jaemin whispered and gestured for him to follow him. chenle carefully placed jisung's head on a pillow before he followed the older boy. just like renjun and chenle had previously done, the pair sat on the stools in jeno's kitchen.

'what's up?' chenle asked as he, not so gracefully, plonked himself on to the stool. 

'what's going on with renjun?' chenle's eyes widened slightly at the sudden question and he sighed, crossing his arms.

'it's not my business to tell.'

'chenle come on, jeno and i are worried sick about him. we know he's a clingy person but all of a sudden he's refusing to let us go and i know you know what's going on.'

chenle looked at jaemin and he could see in his eyes that he was genuinely worried and cared for his best friend. he smiled and nodded.

'alright, only because i know renjun will probably be too nervous to tell you anyways.' jaemin nodded, letting the chinese boy know he was ready to listen.

'i'm sure you noticed renjun never really speaks about his dad, or maybe you didn't. either way he doesn't speak about his dad, and there's a reason for that. his dad was known as a very caring, very understanding man. he was the guy who would go to your house if you needed something fixed, he would cook meals for his elderly neighbors, he would tell us kids stories in renjun's front yard and teach us games that he played in his childhood and more. 

when renjun was around nine he had a crush on a boy in our school, lee chan. he told me first and the poor boy was so confused. his dad's stories and fairy tales usually portrayed a message that boy's are tough and wanted a girl who was pretty and caring, so naturally he was confused when he liked the same gender. a couple of days after that, during one of renjun's father's stories, renjun commented on something about the characters and how he wished it were him and chan. 

unfortunately his dad heard and he was quick to end the story and then told the rest of us to go home for dinner while he dragged renjun inside. jaemin i should have stayed, i wish i stayed, but i didn't. i listened to his dad and went home while that sick man hurt renjun. his dad was homophobic and from that day on renjun wasn't allowed to see anyone, including me. his mother worked long hours in the hospital, so when she was home she was usually sleeping. renjun's dad wanted renjun to be home schooled so he wouldn't even be able to see people during school and he convinced his mother by telling her renjun was being bullied by us kids, and of course renjun was forced to agree with him.

his dad not only mentally and emotionally hurt him, but also physically. he'd beat him to the point where he could barely stand and renjun had nobody to turn to. while this was all going on i had no idea it was happening, renjun's dad had told everybody that renjun was going to be home schooled and if we asked to see him, he always had an excuse.

he was "home schooled" for a year and a half. the poor boy had to go through it for a year and  a half before his dad took it too far and hit him too hard. renjun had fallen and hit his head off of the side of his bed. that's when his mother finally found out what her son was going through and his dad was kicked out the same day. none of us know where he went, he could be in this country or he could be in a whole other continent, nobody knows. 

renjun had hit his head so hard that he lost parts of his memory. he could faintly remember people but he couldn't recall most of the events that happened in the previous couple of years. of course it's horrible that he lost the good memories, but we were relieved that he didn't remember the traumatizing things.

only me and his mom know the things that happened and it seemed like he had developed separation anxiety, most likely because of the way his dad let him have no interactions or communication with anybody for over a year. before that he was still a naturally clingy person so it would have been extra hard on him, but because he had forgotten the memories his separation got better over time and he eventually went back to being the slightly clingy boy that you know today. well, until today.

whatever san said or did, it must've triggered some, or all, of the memories and his anxiety, that's why he refuses to let you and jeno go. he trusts you two the most and feels the safest with you two so na jaemin, i'm telling you now, i will not hesitate to hurt you if you two ever hurt him.'

jaemin sat with his mouth wide open, taking it all in. his jaw had began to hurt but he ignored it, still not over the shock. he couldn't believe someone could hurt someone as kind and selfless as renjun.

once he came back to reality, he snapped his mouth shut and looked chenle in the eye.

'i can assure you, nobody is going to hurt renjun ever again.'

a/n: hello feel free to ignore this as it will just be a sort of mini rant <3

so many people have been leaving me lately and it hurts :/ like even if they just ask to be friends and then a day or two later they stop responding or never talk to me again, it hurts a lot. i literally get attached to someone within an hour of talking to them and i'll never stop thinking about it if they suddenly ghost me and give me no reason or explanation as to why they did.

now talking to new people genuinely scares me so much because i can't help but think "what if this is the last message they send me" or "what if i wake up and they never speak to me again" etc and i know most people are so nice and trustworthy but i can't help it and i just wish i had some sort of explanation so i could work on it or change it :(

i remember one old friend who stopped talking to me told me months later that the way i talk and my personality just annoyed her so that could be the reason but ://