Opening Up

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"Trauma! You mean the reason I'm funny!" I joke

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"Trauma! You mean the reason I'm funny!" I joke

Yoongi gives me a tight-lipped smile unimpressed with my joke. 

 "Jin would have laughed," I mumble as I sink into the couch

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"Jin would have laughed," I mumble as I sink into the couch. Earning a raised eyebrow from him.

He was not what I was expecting. I'm not exactly sure what I expected but this quiet straight to the point man sitting in front of me was not it.

I got a short text after work that said his name and to meet him at a small studio. When I walked in, he was already sitting at a computer listening to music. 

He lowered the sound, so it was just a soft hum in the background motioned me to sit on the sofa beside the computer and said "Talk". 

I don't know what exactly he was looking to get out of me, but we have been at this for a good 30 minutes, me refusing to open up about anything personal and him patiently just staring at me not really saying much after asking me about my "Trauma."

"Tell me every terrible thing you've done and let me love you anyway." He softly says as if he's trying to coax an injured animal.

"Ha love me? Yoongi you don't even know me!" sarcasm lacing my words.

"You have to talk about it... this process will be for nothing if you can't express yourself, it will just consume you. Anxiety and loneliness stay forever, how you choose to make peace with them, that needs a lifetime of consideration. Every situation and every moment, the feelings are so different. I am restless, so are you, so let's find the way and study the way together." He doesn't get closer to me or try to touch me, just letting the silence take over. His eyes piercing me looking into my soul. I finally let out the breath I'd been holding, my heart is painfully pounding in my chest.

"Do you know how it feels to never be able to catch your breath?" my voice barely a whisper, the fear of opening up gripping me with its ugly claws. My heart feels like it's going to burst through my chest. My breathing becomes shallow as I try to hold back my tears.

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