As Life Goes On

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Where is he?!

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Where is he?!

I had been sitting on the bench in the park for 15 minutes waiting for the sun himself to show up.

Fall was upon us and I pulled my cardigan closer around me as the breeze ruffled my hair. The park was full of people walking around, the performer's setting up despite the setting sun and cooler weather. I let out a soft sigh as my phone whistled.

Hobi☀️:

SORRY I'M RUNNING LATE SUNSHINE!!!! 😅

Me:

Don't worry about it Hobi😒. I'm here waiting in our usual spot.

Hobi☀️:

I'll be there SOON! 🙃

I laugh just picturing his loud voice, how does he manage to put that much excitement in everything? I lock my phone sliding it back into my pocket. So much has changed in the past two months.

The boys and I had finally found a groove, built a friendship? I no longer saw someone every day instead we just planned random outings, sometimes one on one other times in groups. My mind starts to wander as I wait.

"When someone else is having a hard time, it doesn't mean you're having any less of a hard time. So, whenever you're having a hard time, always tell other people 'I'm having a hard time' and 'please look after me and comfort me." Jin had whispered to me on one of my dark days.

He came when I called wrapping me in his strong arms comforting me until I had fallen asleep. Jin had become one of the closest people to me after that day. He always came when I needed him most with his wide smile and lame jokes to make me feel better.

I spent a lot of time with Joonie and Jin, they had both sort of taken on a brotherly role with me. We spent our time mostly at my place, with Jin trying to teach me and Joon how to cook.

Joon was a terrible cook and dangerous to have in the kitchen so Jin decided that he was only allowed to watch us and ask his questions to the both of us.

"Happiness is not something that you have to achieve. You can still feel happy during the process of achieving something. So, if you change your perspective a bit, I know you are going through tough times right now, but this could be the most beautiful moment of our lives." Joon had spoken those words late one night as we sat outside on the patio having a drink after our meal discussing what happiness means to me.

I recalled our moment, and I couldn't help but agree that this is in fact the most beautiful moment in my life. I still haven't found a passion, but I felt lighter, happier, free...

One of the musicians starts playing their guitar as the sun has finally set. I look up and stare at the stars.

"Some days I'm Vincent van Gogh's stay night and some days I'm his suicidal letter. I pretend I'm okay for no reason, meaninglessly I pretend to be strong... Life is tough, and things don't always work out well, but we would be brave and go on with our lives." Yoongi's words flash through my mind.

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