regret

chapter one

Today is the first day of school, from our spring break. I was at my grandmothers house in Melbourne the whole of our spring break. I came back last week to prepare for school. I live with my family in sydney and attend Mooreridge High. We've been living in Sydney for about thirteen years now since we moved from Melbourne. My mom got a job here so we had to be closer to her work place.

I live with my mom, my dad and my brother then its me the last born of the family. I know what your thinking, and I wish it were true about how last borns are the golden egg of the family and they are the most spoilt but thats not true. Quite the opposite of you ask me. But I'm just lucky to have a family and a roof over my head.

I have arrived at school by foot and am now walking down the halls of Mooreridge high.
So far its looking good for me since no one has recognized me and no one has pushed shoved or called me a name so I'm think I'm safe for the time being.
I quickly walk to my first class before Megan and Jason arrive because once their here I know I'll never get there in one piece.

Megan and Jason are the schools star couple the most beautiful people in our school and the most envied.
Jason is your typical rich boy, handsome, fit and rich and when I say rich I mean filthy stinking rich. His dad owns his own company and his mom is a celebrity fitness trainer so she's never around that much, it hurts Jason but he'll never admit it.

Megan is your typical rich mean girl at school, fake boobs, nose job and always wears skimpy clothes. She's petite and has nice long sexy legs. She's also super rich since her mom owns her own clothing brand that I can never remember, and her dad is a doctor.
And those two people are my worst nightmares, they are the reasons why I sometimes skip school and bunk classes and hate school in general.
Don't get me wrong its not because they are bad influences, they have to be my friends in order to influence me into doing bad things.
No they are my bullies, the types of bullies that make sure they make your life a living hell, as mine is. They call me names, they steal my lunch just to throw it in the bin and they beat me up just to hear me cry and bleed. They basically make sure my life is a living hell as long as I go to this school they make sure I never get comfortable for even one second.

As I enter my class I get to my seat at the front and open my book to the last bit of work we did, just to refresh my mind on what we did last. As I am reading I hear a bunch of noise coming from the outside of the classroom which means all the students are coming in now and so was our teacher, Mr Malik.
Mr Malik was a very nice teacher and handsome to. He cared about his students and he was excellent at teaching. He was one of those cool teachers that made learning fun for us. He was never strict and he never had to be. A lot of students had respect for him and how he teaches us, as he is able to be fun and cool but still be able to keep us in control and get the respect he deserves.

As soon as Mr Malik sat down and greeted us, Megan and Jason walked in and I internally groaned. I'm not a person who would have bad thoughts about people but when it came to Jason and Megan my mind turned to a very dark place.

If I were someone else I would've stood up for myself a long time ago. I would've told them that I am not their doormat and I will not tolerate their humiliating comments, hurtful words and all the pain that they bring to me, but I'm not somebody else, I'm just me, Mandy Makhenzi the fat girl who can't stand up for herself.

I'm the girl that never wants to change things, she would rather just get used to them even though they hurt her. I'm that girl that nobody would ever talk to or even be friends with. Worst of all, I'm that pathetic loser of a girl who will die alone with no one to remember her or even notice she's gone.

To be honest I have no idea what I did to these people of Mooreridge high for them to hate me so much. I know I have some problems at home but I never asked for them to happen. I know I'm not like them but that doesn't mean treat me like trash.

I don't know why the universe hates me so much to have me looking like this then living a life like this. I have had to live my life with a fixed mindset, telling myself I'm not good enough, that I'll never be good enough, I'll never experience love and I'll never be happy in my life with what I have. Its not easy being the DUFF out of all of your friend's and its not easy living your in a body like mine, having people shout hurtful words and comments at you when you walk past. I can't really blame anyone for all of this since I did this to myself. I made myself like this and this is the outcome of my stupid decisions.