Lovely Nights || Zhong Chenle

34

"I should have known." I muttered as I sipped on my juice box. "I was stupid to think that anyone could ever like me."

I looked over to my left as I opened a second juice box and placed it down.

"And this is the part where you're supposed to say you're going to murder him for hurting your baby sister." I stared at the headstone with Jungmin's name engraved across the top. "Well maybe I deserved it."

I felt weak and tired from crying for what felt like hours. What hurt more than what Jaemin had done was wishing that I had Jungmin here to talk to. I wanted so bad to feel the warmth of his arms as he told me that everything was going to be okay. That he was just some stupid guy who lost the best girlfriend he would ever have.

Did I believe any of that?

No.

But I knew that's exactly what Jungmin would tell me if he were here right now.

"Oppa I miss you." I wiped away my tears and laughed. "You're probably cringing right now aren't you?" I rarely ever called Jungmin 'oppa' so I knew that if he could hear me right now he would cringe and playfully gag in disgust.

I stood up and gathered myself, stretching my arms out before turning to face his gravestone.

"Well I better start getting home before it gets too late." I let out a small laugh. "And lets just say I wouldn't be opposed if you wanted to scare Jaemin with a few ghost tricks."

No I didn't actually believe that Jungmin was some sort of ghost who would avenge my broken heart. It was just a way of making myself feel better. Even though he had passed, talking to him whenever I felt sad made me unexplainably happier, as if he were really here with me listening from the other side.

After leaving the cemetery, I rode the bus home and stared out at the darkening sky still thinking about Jaemin.

Was I really only a game to him?

Of course I was. I should have known from the beginning that no guy would ever like a girl like me. I was stupid to think that a haircut and a glittery dress somehow changed who I really was, a loser.

But why me? Out of so many girls at our school why did he target me? What did he have to gain from dating the schools loser?

I felt more tears fill my eyes the more I thought about him. I wasn't only sad, I was angry with myself for thinking that he actually cared about me.

I held back my tears as the bus finally approached my stop. Walking slow and without purpose, I eventually made it to the front steps of my house where Chenle appeared to be casually sitting.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly as I walked up closer to him.

"Is your phone off? Why haven't you answered any of my calls or messages?"

"Oh I don't know." I asked sarcastically. "Has it occurred to you that maybe I don't want to talk to anyone?"

"Y/N you can't do this, you need to talk to someone."

"And let me guess? Is that someone supposed to be you?"

"Well...." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Chenle please go home." I rolled my eyes as I walked passed him, fumbling to find my keys.

"What has gotten into you?"

"It's non of your business."

He gripped my wrist and sighed, softening his tone. "I'm just worried about you."

"That seems to be a recurring patern with you, somehow you are always worried about me yet you never listen." I raised my voice out of frustration. "Chenle I just want to be alone!"

He frowned and let got of me.

"If that's what you really want, okay." He stated with a hurt tone and turned away.

"W-Wait." I sighed and turned around to face him again. "I'm sorry....It's just.....I'm upset okay."

"I get it you're upset and want to be alone, don't worry I won't bother you anymore."

"Maybe I don't want to be alone." I finally blurted out as tears filled my eyes. "I tried so hard, I tried to be strong but I-" My light tears turned into heavy sobs as I became incapable of finishing my words.

He immediately pulled me into a hug, my head resting perfectly on his chest as his fingers brushed through my hair in a soothing manner.

"How could I be so stupid." I cried as I burried my face deeper into his chest.

"Don't do that." Chenle cupped my cheeks and forced me to meet his eyes. "Don't you dare blame yourself." His voice was stern as he gazed deep into my eyes. "The only idiot here is me for sitting back and letting you date him in the first place."

I shook my head and wiped my tears away.

"How could you have known? I was stupid for being naive enough to think he actually liked me. This is all my fault and I des-"

Chenle's expression changed to that of anger as he let go of me and balled his hands into fists.

"I told you not to say that." He raised his voice. "I swear I'm going to make him wish he never laid eyes on you."

"Don't." I sighed. "What's done is done and nothing is going to change what happened."

"Am I supposed to just sit back and watch as you blame yourself for what that idiot did? He hurt you y/n and I-" He paused, seemingly trying to finding the right words. "....I can't stand to see you like this." He used his hand to softly caress my cheek and wipe away my leftover tear stains.

I was silent for a moment before letting out a deep sigh. "You know Its funny," I muttered, internally laughing at the irony of Chenle's statement. "even though Jaemin hurt me, there is still one other boy who has hurt me more than anyone else and I don't think he realizes it."

"Another boy?" Chenle crossed his arms. "Wh-Who? Y/N so help me god I will find him and make him wish he'd never been born."

I wiped my tears and laughed. "I don't know about that, I think I would miss him if he was never born."

"But you can't miss someone you've never met."

I bit my lip and thought about what he said. "You're right." I felt a sudden feeling of emptiness in my heart. "There would just be an empty void in my heart incapable of being filled by non other than him."

Chenle frowned and rolled his eyes. "Yeah well whoever this guy is he can't be that special."

"That's where you're wrong." I shook my head and reached in my pocket for the key to my house. "It's getting late, I should head in now. I still have a lot of homework to catch up on."

Chenle sighed and hugged me one last time.

"Just say the word and I'll have a small chat with Jaemin and my fist."

I lightly laughed and shook my head. "Goodnight Chenle." I said in an assertive tone while raising an eyebrow.

He raised his hands in defense. "I was joking." He chuckled. "....unless...."

"I said Goodnight."

He let out a sigh and smiled. "Goodnight."

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Sorry I haven't updated in so long : ( truthfully I haven't been very motivated this past month. I hope to get in a few updates soon though so thank you to all who have been patient 🖤