dear ni-ki

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hi my little brother!

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hi my little brother!

since you are my favorite brother, i'm going to write your letter the longest. and i'll use japanese instead of korean because it feels more comfortable with you.

i was so happy at first i met you. among 22 applicants, you were the most special one (well, alongside ta-ki). maybe because we have the same nationality, our bonds became stronger. that's why i considered you as my little brother.

at first, i'm really sorry i broke our promise. even though i couldn't debut with you, i should've been supporting you. but i disappeared from you instead. i kinda regretted that. i'm really sorry, ni-ki. i knew you struggled when you were preparing for your debut. i knew it well. you were usually a cheerful, extroverted, bright, and outspoken person. but at your early debut, i saw you being a quiet boy all of a sudden. you rarely spoke. did you know how hurt i felt at that moment? shit. i wished i could run across the country to hug you. but unfortunately, i couldn't do anything but hope that you would adapt soon. i remembered that it took two months for you. ah... i'm really sorry i wasn't there when you were at the lowest. i'm sorry all i could do was to watch from afar.

but after all of the hardships you went through, i'm proud of a person you are today. you grew more mature.

i won't stop saying this:

i am proud of you, nishimura riki.

i know i'm 3 years late, but i wanted to say sorry. i'm sorry i was too harsh for you back then. that dna accident... i'm sorry. i'm sorry i made you cry in dna, to the point that you were a little traumatized by me in flame on. i'm very sorry.

how's your life now? how's being an idol? do you like it? do you enjoy it? well... i've never experienced it. but i know it's surely hard. i'm glad to see you make it through. i will try my best to always be there growing with you in the future.

i learned a lot from you. you taught me how to be a better person. thank you, bro. i owed you so many things.

you know that all of this isn't a coincidence, right? meeting you is a fate. and i'm glad my destiny is you. thank you for existing. thank you for being my best friend, my brother, my partner, my roommate, my teacher, my everything!

i hope we'll meet again in the next life. if we won't, i would search around the world just to find you again. let's be friends again in the next life! i bet our friendship is eternal. 

あいしてる, 二シムラ リキ!
i miss you so much!
i hope we'll meet again soon!

from the deepest of my heart,
with my whole chest,
ケイ
your brother from a different mother:)

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