Still In The Dark | BILLIE EILISH

part 7

(Trig's Pov)

So this is weird... i'm alive.. anyway, uh yeah i have a lot of explaining to do

Where do we start.. after I got shot I technically did die but was somehow fucking resuscitated and now i'm alive again. I was taken to hospital had a little operation done, I saw little wasn't really little but not exactly big but anyway I was fucked pretty much. Whilst they were doing CPR the bitches gave me 3 broken ribs like what the fuck how hard were you pressing me anyway if that wasn't enough I also got abdominal distension which basically meant that I threw up because of the force in my chest and then oh yes there's more i got pneumonia in my lungs because some of the vomit decided to travel it's way down but took the wrong fucking turning. This meant I was in an induced coma for 2 months because my body was torn to shit. Not only that yes I know what else could I fucking have, my brain was left without oxygen for like 6 minutes which doesn't seem like a big deal but it was anyway because of that i got an anoxic brain injury how funnn. For some fucking reason I survived but stayed in hospital for 6 months all together.. 6 fucking months and you're gona hate me for this one but guess what.. I suffered from daily seizures for those 6 months, then weekly for the next 4 and now I get them every month or so as a result of my brain injury.

And as for Billie.. I forgot about her, kinda. I had to shut off my emotions again, everything was way too much my hospital bill was fucking way too much and I simply had no money at all. So I stole a car and drove off to the mansion, not really sure what I was expecting if I was being honest but he was right about blowing it up. When I arrived I was about 7 months late, it had been guarded by police tape and I was praying for one thing to still be there. It was weird going back, especially since it wasn't the same... tho whole building was blown up bricks were everywhere, there was a massive part of the roof still hanging on about to fall at any moment. After digging around a bit I found where the basement was which wasn't effect at all, the cells were still in tact and the walls had maybe one or two cracks. You can probably tell why I went there though, as I climbed down the trapdoor to mine and Billie's secret place that's when everything hit me. How much I missed everyone in my life, especially Billie... and Nitro. And that's where I decided to shut off my emotions. I grabbed my hidden bag of 200 million yes you read that correctly I done a lot of shit to earn that and by earn I mean rob and kill and sell drugs but you know it is what it is. I paid my hospital bill and decided to move on, it had been 7 months and I couldn't just rock up to Billie like hey how ya doin and anyway 1, didnt have a phone number, 2 couldn't message her on instagram since she gets like a million messages a day and 3 i didn't exactly know where she lived

So, I rebuilt my life, but some things never change. After a year of being out of hospital I decided to go onto Billie's instagram account and she had something posted on her story. I regretted watching it because it was of her recording Nitro as he chased Bricker making him fall into a swimming pool. Ever since that I would watch her instagram stories or stalk her account and when she announced she was going to start tours again I thought fuck it lets buy a ticket.

My life hasn't been easy since I left the hospital. I was left with PTSD and would have reoccurring nightmares of Cobra coming to find me, that's why I sleep with a gun. I didn't know what to do with my life, I had always been a good dancer so to the strip club I went. Although I hate my legal name, Trixie Harmes, I had to go back to it so no one and I mean no one would know who I was. Out of all my nightmares there was one thing I dreaded the most... Billie

Last night my worst nightmare happened. I bumped into Billie. I tried to play it off but of course she saw her fucking tattoo and I freaked out. It was too much, how do you explain to someone you loved where you had been for 2 years? I just couldn't and now I wish I had said something

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a trig pov? oh shit it's been a while

she really been through hell and back