windfall

forty-two: "if you got stung by a jellyfish, i'd pee on you"

Normal: Kat Torres
Bold: Easton Adley

~

"You were right."

    "I usually am."

    "About Stephanie."

    "Oh? Do tell in detail how I was right and you were wrong. Wait, can you say it again? I want to record you and save it for future arguments."

"Do you want me to hang up?"

"No, tell me, I'll shut up."

"She was having trouble at school with her friends and this guy she liked. She thought he liked her too but he was just messing with her and her so called friends were in on it. They spent the last few months sowing doubt and insecurities about herself in her mind. That week she locked herself in her room, her friends had said something to the guy to make him say these awful things about her — she'd had a panic attack and was too embarrassed and upset to talk to anyone. Then a few days before she, um, punched you, she'd gone to this party and caught him with her supposed best friend."

"They did NOT."

"They did. She was already on edge and I guess seeing the two of us so happy didn't exactly help."

"It probably also didn't help when your dad made those comments."

"Yeah, calling her love life basically nonexistent was the icing on her cake of misery. I guess I gotta cut her some slack now. It's gonna be hard keeping in all the remarks about her sad, uneventful and loveless life now that I know it's kind of true."

"That's a little dark."

"What can I say? Stephanie brings out the worst in me."

"So does this mean you two made up? You're no longer evil stepsisters?"

"Oh no, we're still very much enemies. Just how I won't be insulting her personal life and she won't be sabotaging my relationships."

"So she was a SABOTEUR, eh?"

"She punched you in the face so why don't you tell me if that counts as sabotage."

"Point taken."

"You still have a black eye?"

"Well say it's more of a yellow eye now."

"Pity. It was kind of hot."

"I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"To get Corbin to punch me."

"I hope you're joking."

"I am. Obviously, if I wanted to get punched, I'd go to Genevieve. She's ruthless."

"Well, she has to put up with you two idiots. I'd be ruthless too. I'm on my way, after the shit Corbin pulled at the escape room."

"Lower your voice! If he hears the words 'escape' and 'room' together, he'll start up again. That man has the ears of a bat when it comes to things he does wrong."

"Reminds me of someone else I know."

"Who could it possibly be?"

"You know what, I just can't recall right now."

"Uh huh, that's what I thought."

"So subject change."

"You can't just SAY subject change when you want a subject change. It doesn't work like that. Those aren't the rules."

"I'm changing them. Anyway. It's April. My last exam ends next month and I'm supposed to fly home for the summer, hopefully to stay with my mom and Phoebe instead of my dad."

"I appreciate the schedule update but I'm getting the feeling that there's a question in there."

"I'm SUPPOSED to fly back to Cali. That's what my parents expect, but you and I have already established that we're staying in New York. So I guess my question is, will you tell my dad I'm not coming home for me?"

"I love you Kat, but I gotta be straight with you: I'm not gonna do that."

"Pleeeease?"

"Nuh uh. I'm not falling for that, Torres. No pouty face from you."

"You don't know that I have a pouty face."

"It's in your voice, babe. Sorry, but I ain't your shield."

    "So you're saying you wouldn't defend my honor with your last dying breath?"

    "I'm saying if you got stung by a jellyfish, I'd pee on you but I draw the line at defying your dad."

    "First the planetarium date and now a jellyfish? I feel like your Queen obsession is turning into a Friends obsession."

    "What's really funny is that you forgot about Dear Friends."

    "Aw, shit."

    "Don't lose your head now."